I don't know what your condition was, but I'm guessing, prostate cancer. My father was diagnosed too late for surgical intervention, but he got chronic bladder\kidney infections from the condition....struggling to empty his bladder with an enlarged prostate. This was back in the early 90's. He got to the point where the doctor's wouldn't even treat his infections, and they just sent him home with a catheter. He was devasted! He had no idea how to work the catheter and the home health nurse came a couple of times a week. It brought him to tears. He had that catheter from Easter until September 30 when he died. He fully believed that he was going to recover from the disease, and he refused to accept Hospice care. He taught me an incredible lesson in optimism.
Some of your discomfort and lack of control may be post-surgical complications. I had 3 C-Sections, and you lose some control with the anesthesia and the process, and it takes time for your muscles to regain their strength. If you are comfortable and infection-free, you should accept the diapers as an interim solution, and work towards to gaining control of the muscles which control the flow of urine. Like after child birth, you may be able to do "kegel exercises" and get some control back, and get you sense of control back. Look-up kegel exercises...basically you squeeze your groin area and count to 10, imaging an elevator going up 10 levels up in your abdomen, and you do this throughout the day, and eventually, you will notice some improvement. I hope it works for men, sir! I can't imagine why not, because it is for bladder control.
I wish you the very best, and I hope you recovery all your abilities. Be patient, and have faith in the strength of your own will to succeed!
Best of Luck!