SIDE EFFECTS OF RA MEDS

I checked for local support and there are none where I live. I think I might need to share the way I feel to improve my self outlook of things. I have been living with RA for 2 years. I am 36 yrs old and I have a super suppoting husband and have been blessed with 2 of the greatest kids. I know, so why do I need more help coping? They help soooo much but as a wife and mother I feel like I cannot continue to say "mommy doesnt feel well" and my poor husband does everything. I dont think its far and I dont know where the pain stops and the "poor me" attitude has taken over. I am tired of saying I hurt or I feel bad. Then yesterday my RA Dr ran some test and they called this morning to tell me that the methotrexate has damaged my liver and caused gallbladder complications. I am have 20% of my liver removed and having my gallbladder taken out. Im scared as hell and I cannot let my family on to my fear. They deal with enough already. To add fuel to the fire, it was 73 here yesterday and 32 today. I feel like I am wound up like a pretzel and really want to cry out in pain. Please tell me someone out there knows what I am going thru?