Thursday, May 31, 2012

talk to daughter

By kbsmommy Thursday, December 31, 2009

my daughter doesn't get it. it being , that mom has RA. she is 31 yo. she doesn't think about coming over when she or my grandson are sick. i end up getting it and i end up sicker and longer recoup time, sometimes i even end up in hospital.

1/ 1/10 8:42am

The only thing I can tell you is to put your foot down.  My kids are 18,17,13 and 7 and they all get.  they get sick of course they can't leave but they know there may not be any good night kissesor even hugs.  when they got h1n1 they stayed in their rooms all the time.  You don't have to let them in.  When she calls and says little Johnny is sick but misses his grammy say I'm sorry but grammy is sick in bed tooand can't visit.  This is your health, she needs to get.

Lene Andersen, Health Guide
1/ 4/10 11:04am

Just as you went through a difficult time adjusting to disease, your family and friends will go through the same process - it may help to check out the post I wrote a while ago about family and friends and their reactions to you having a disease.

 

Your daughter ignoring your requests for her to stay away when she or her son are sick probably originates in two places: her unwillingness to hear you and your communication. Sometimes, when we think we are being very firm, other people hear it as anything but (I learned that the hard way myself).  You may want to consider giving her the link to this site so she can understand more about what RA means and in particular, a link to a series of posts written by one of our users about how she finally understood just how serious it is to be on an immunosuppressant (reading her experience made me take my immunosuppressant condition much more seriously).  When you read that first post, click on her name to read the other two in the series.  These posts could form the beginnings of a conversation about what it's like to be immunosuppressed. You may also want to consider buying some N95 masks and if your daughter comes to your house when she or the child are sick, either ask her to put them on her and your grandson or wear one yourself - you can also invest in a box of medical examination gloves, either vinyl or latex and wear those.  this is a slightly more extreme reaction, but if she continues to refuse to listen, you have to take precautions.  you can also enlist the help of your rheumatologist and ask your daughter to accompany you to an appointment so your doctor can tell her just what it means to have suppressed immune system.

 

Good luck! please let us know how it goes?

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By kbsmommy— Last Modified: 12/20/10, First Published: 12/31/09