Sign in

or Register now

MyRACentral.com

See all of our health sites at www.HealthCentral.com
Tuesday, November, 10, 2009
  • Font size
Receive a FREE Osteoarthritis of the knee pamphlet.  Start here.

If The Bachelorette had Rheumatoid Arthritis

Sara Nash
Sara Nash
Close
Young, single professional in New York City

At the beginning of my 29th year, my immune system, in an act of...

Sara Nash

Wednesday, July 08, 2009
View All of Sara Nash's Posts
One of my recent guilty pleasures has been watching the latest edition of the popular TV dating show, The Bachelorette. It’s cheesy, fanciful and completely contrived, but it’s also fun, and after seeing the first episode of this season, I became hooked. For those of you who aren’t...
  1. Bachelorette
    suestang68
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 01:53 PM

    That was great!  It's so true. 

    How can we get the general population, to understand, and/or tolerate us.

    Reply
    re: Bachelorette
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 01:59 PM

    one step at a time, I guess!

    Reply
    re: re: Bachelorette
    suestang68
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 02:45 PM

    Yup!  Sorry I was venting, but I get impatient sometimes

    Reply
    re: re: re: Bachelorette
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 02:48 PM

    venting is a-ok!  I"m impatient, too.  If you are looking for ways to be more of an advocate, check out the bucklmeup website as that is what it is all about!

    Reply
    re: re: re: re: Bachelorette
    suestang68
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 03:19 PM

    I will.  I actualy do have a braclet.   And I do want to help somehow.  It seems when I was home, and feeling better, I never even got on my computer except to pay bills.  Now, I have lots on my mindEmbarassed

    Reply
  2. Untitled Comment
    Lene Andersen
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 08:20 PM

    I'd leave a pithy, insightful comment, but I'm laughing so hard I'm wheezing. I too think it would be an excellent idea to have a reality show starring someone with a chronic illness (not necessarily one involving dating a series of clueless hunks who'd be willing to propose you after knowing you for less than two months -  who are those idiots?). Except, knowing TV, they'd make it all Tragic and Inspirational, which would completely miss the point and I'd be busy looking for a barf bag...

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 09:05 PM

    I KNOW!  it's completely true-it would become some kind of melodramatic sob story and we'd all want to puke. 

    Reply
  3. Great idea!
    KrazyKat
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 09:36 PM

    In the shorthand of cyberspace: LMAO  Thanks Sara for such a funny but thought inspiring sharepost.  I wish maybe TV could get it a bit closer to the truth.  None of us wants melodrama although life sure feels that way sometimes and we all know that its so damn melodramatic sometimes that its outright hysterical.  But maybe if we could just feel like it wasn't all fantasy and make believe. I enjoy fairy tales as much as the next person but I don't want to live with the seven dwarfs (or dopey bachelors for that matter). Just a dose more of reality without camping out in that place either.  Ok, so maybe this will never happen but we can hope can't we?

    Reply
    re: Great idea!
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 09:55 PM

    to quote another tv show i'm fond of: abso-f******-lutely.  hope away. glad i could make you laugh.

    Reply
  4. Untitled Comment
    MonicaJo
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 11:24 PM

    I am still stuck on the whole concept of a date centered around a manly hunk of flesh gently pinching my tummy fat and injecting me with my life-saving medicine...OMG!!!  And all caught on reality tv...I'm ready to watch!!!  Now that's what TV should be all about.

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:42 PM

    haha!  I can only imagine what the rest of America would think!

    Reply
  5. I swear you read my mind!
    kissthisangel
    Wednesday, July 08, 2009 at 11:28 PM

    Sara...again you take the thoughts right out of my head!!!

     

    While watching the Bachelorette/Bachelor/Tough Love my friend and I actually discussed numerous times about how to get on a reality show for these very reasons! 

    Unfortunatley, I work full-time and I couldn't get the time off-BUT just think of the awareness we could raise! We should seriously work on it....while you think I may be joking-let's get one of us hot beautiful babes with RA on the show and raise some friggin awareness!!! We deserve TV time...afterall it is OUR "reality"!

    Reply
    re: I swear you read my mind!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:42 PM

    I'm with you-it would be, frankly, amazing if that actually happened...so long as it isn't me!

    Reply
  6. Untitled Comment
    Mallen
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 12:26 AM

    Haha!!  I have to admit too that I am hooked watching that show.  Your comments are too funny!!  I am also single (well, techniquely divorced with kids) and have thought about the possibility of ever finding someone new who won't run for the hills once he finds out about my RA.  Oh well!!  There's still TV...

    Reply
    Single, kids, RA and mature!
    Nancy Johnson
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 12:46 PM

     I know the feeling about trying to date with RA. I know what it's like to have kids and try to date with RA....AND I will be turning 51 in July.  The only fortunate thing is men that are older, seem to be a little more understanding about the RA. I recently started my divorce after being seperated for several years, BOY have things changed since I first dated. I think shows like that have really ruined it for normal, everyday people. Because even with our differences, we ARE normal, everyday people. Everybody has their cross to bear. Even those hulky guys on the show!!!!

    Reply
    re: Single, kids, RA and mature!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:44 PM

    that's encouraging to hear, and you are right- even though these people appear perfect on TV, no one gets off without a little catastrophe in their life!

    Reply
  7. As with all other "crazy" ideas...
    Jeff
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 01:56 AM

    yours has merit! I mean, how much more interesting would it be to watch people with real challanges -- besides too much silicon vs. not enough silicon, and real vs. fake extenstions -- and see how they cope. If nothing else, it would bring some fresh storylines to dating TV!

     

    Jeff

    Reply
    re: As with all other "crazy" ideas...
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:45 PM

    you should put together a pitch for it!  There's clearly an audience for it....

    Reply
  8. Untitled Comment
    Sarah
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 02:37 AM
    CLASSIC - I would so watch that show!!!
    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:45 PM

    absolutely!  I'd even get cable finally so that I wouldn't have to wait and watch it online a day after.

    Reply
    re: re: Untitled Comment
    Sarah
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 08:00 PM
    lol u should just get cable anyway :)
    Reply
  9. Untitled Comment
    Anonymous
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    Everybody is so right. About all the tv shows. People like us learn how to really enjoy life as to people who are in good health just let them self go. I just hate the fac that when you meet someone and try to explain things about your self they really don't want nothing to do with you. The way I see it is the hell with everybody and I wish them the best their lost not mine, just because I'm sick doesn't mean that i don't have a life yes at times I just have to step back and rest but doesn't everybody.

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:46 PM

    absolutely!

    Reply
  10. Fan-tab-u-lous!
    ComingToGripsWithRA
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    Ok, I'm still in the early RA stages but my goodness that was funny!  I would totally watch that!  Yes, they would make it over dramatic however, that would still make it romantic and let's face it, we'd all love to see a man willing to stick by you through that!  Plus more people would understand what we go through.  That would be a REAL fairy tale...one in which Prince Charming doesn't ride around with you on his mighty steed, but carries you when you are too weak to walk.  So...anyone know any TV producers?!  I'm sure one of them would be willing to consider this alternate take on a reality show because it actually sounds quite interesting! Cool

    Reply
    re: Fan-tab-u-lous!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:48 PM

    I think one of two things would likely happen- they would either gloss over it in some totally annoying, unrealistic way OR overdramatize it....but still, it would be great to see what would happen.

    Reply
  11. So I'm NOT alone in my thoughts!
    Anonymous
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    I cannot tell you how often I have had these same exact thoughts while watching this show! I am a single mother with RA and do not date due to wondering how long they will stick around when they find out I have this disease. Not to mention I am normally quite thin and have put on 25 pounds since diagnosed with this disease (another topic if someone wants to share how to get the weight off!).

    I watch how the girls are in their swimsuits and quite fit and run around all these exotic places and amazing dates.  As much as I want to get "lost" in the fun of all of it, it's unfortunately a constant reminder of what has been stripped from so many of us.  I believe we are so misunderstood because the disease is not discussed enough.  I would love to see a girl on the Bachelorette with RA. But do you suppose the same hunky guys would be trying so hard to get her? ;-)

    Reply
    re: So I'm NOT alone in my thoughts!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:52 PM

    ugh, i know.  In terms of the weight gain, I wrote about it here and so many people commented, so you are not alone.

     

    The cynic in me says that once the guys found out about the RA, they wouldn't be sweating out the rose ceremonies so much, but you never know.  there are a lot of great guys out there...just not sure we'd find them on a reality tv show?

     

    Reply
    re: So I'm NOT alone in my thoughts!
    Calamity Jane
    Thursday, July 16, 2009 at 11:59 AM

     

    Man, I sure am right there with you on the weight gain problem.  I too have been quite thin all of my life, it's been sort of part of my identity, you know?  I too have gained 25 lbs, or even a little more.  None of my pants fit, and when I look in the mirror I get so depressed.  My body just doesn't feel like me.  And I really eat very little!  I'm confused too -- is this weight gain that so many of us seem to be dealing with a result of the disease itself, or it is a side-effect of all the various meds?  I have no idea how to go about losing the weight, and boy do I wish I did.  So I have no suggestions, just a whole lot of empathy!

    Reply
  12. Reality TV at it's best~!
    Janet
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    That I must say would be Reality TV at it's best!  Yes maybe people would become more aware of what we go through day to day in dealing with this sometimes hidden monster of RA.  Actually I think they should have a Savivor series for just people with dissabilities.  With who can hobble over the line first as a contest and the winner gets to go for the meds that they need.  Wow show sad would that be?????

     

    JR

    Reply
    re: Reality TV at it's best~!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:55 PM

    Totally....in fact, another awesome RA blogger, Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy, imagined just the same thing!

    Reply
  13. Amen sister!
    Anonymous
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    I agree 100% with you. "reality tv" is not real if you ask me.  I have Lupus with RA as a secondary along with Sjogrens and I have days that I am good to get out of bed.

    Yes I agree with you on the nuturing and all for one of the competions.

    Maybe we need to contact Hollywood Cool and get them to do a real show and get some of the profit donated to research for this dreaded condition?

    I know Lupus has not had a new drug for 50 years. 

     

    Good luck to you with your RA.

    KoalafehrLaughing

    Reply
    re: Amen sister!
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:56 PM

    Wow-lupus hasn't had a new drug in 50 years???  ok, the Bachelorette should definitely have lupus, too! I wonder if any big time producers would actually go for something like this?

    Reply
    re: Amen sister!
    kitt
    Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 06:36 AM

    how about if we all contact hollywood and maybe get paid to live our lifes. Mine dosen't seem to be as bad as some of yours but i am tired and gaining weight everyday. i work almost full time but the pain has increased . dose anyone have a hard time with the mind... like going to get something and totally forgetting where you are headed ? and lattely i am haveing a harder time standing with out falling. and if i'am sitting i fall asleep. any ideas on what to do ?    lets all write hollywood Cool

    Reply
  14. Reality???
    Patricia
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 04:26 PM

    AMEN.  There is little, if any, REALITY in any of TV's "reality" shows... 

    Reply
    re: Reality???
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:57 PM

    I know-it's silly.

    Reply
  15. Untitled Comment
    susan
    Thursday, July 09, 2009 at 04:34 PM

    Awesome analogy!!

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 06:57 PM

    thanks!

    Reply
  16. Reality Show With RA
    EnergizerBunny
    Friday, July 10, 2009 at 04:46 PM

    I just loved this column, especially since I had been living a life of "hell" with my RA lately.  I watch the Bachelorette and never thought to think up this idea for a script.  This seaon is the worst for being full of phony people.  The best one so far was Krista and her fireman.  They were and are real people that fell in love. 

    Reply
    re: Reality Show With RA
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 07:00 PM

    sorry to hear that things are hellish with your RA...I think I remember seeing that season of the Bachelorette, and I think they are the only ones still together out of any of them!

    Reply
  17. Too freakin funny....
    aircrew
    Friday, July 10, 2009 at 06:46 PM

    I have one question. Why does it have to be the bachelorette and why not the bachelor? Just kidding. I was just thinking what if they guy that the bachelorette picks has RA also. How exciting would that show be. LOL. I can see it now. "you help me off the couch, I help you off the couch." WOW what a show. Anyways enough of me goofing around. Take care.

    Reply
    re: Too freakin funny....
    Sara Nash
    Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 07:02 PM

    It doesn't!  A Bachelor with RA would be equally amazing to see on TV, though it would challenge stereotypes in a different way.  I can just see the surprise 'twist' being if the one picked at the end revealed they, too had RA.  That would be a ratings sweep, I think!

    Reply
    re: Too freakin funny....
    kitt
    Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 06:48 AM

    oh my  i can not believe you all  ...loving every min of it.  makes me smile to see the humorouse side of RA on this .   cuz sometimes i wonder where my humor went but thanks for making me smile.Cool  watch out Hollywood we are gonna storm you with our reality.

    Reply
  18. We must share a brain...
    Kelly Conway
    Sunday, July 12, 2009 at 05:39 PM

    Sara,

     

    I had this discussion with my lunch group a while ago.  It's truly a riot to think about it.  I do remember the Australian Outback edition of survivor was won by a woman with RA (I think her name was Tina).  I didn't know she had RA until she did interviews later.  They never really touched on it while she was on the show.  I think you should pitch this show to some network.  If "Dance your Ass Off" and "Skating with the Stars" can be on TV then Dating with RA is a sure thing!!  LOL  Maybe there could be speed dating with RA .....although it would have to be called Slowness dating.

     

    Thanks!

     

    Kelly

     

     

    PS:  I did send my info for a Sick Chick club in Philly....and I got a bracelet.

    Reply
    re: We must share a brain...
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Kelly--haha, love the idea of 'slowness' dating.  I didn't realize a woman with RA had won survivor...wish she had been more outspoken about it! 

    Reply
    re: re: We must share a brain...
    Kelly Conway
    Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    Here is a link to her site:

     

    http://www.tinawesson.com/news_02.shtml

     

    She was the arthritis foundation spokesperson at some point.

    Reply
  19. a great one!
    Calamity Jane
    Tuesday, July 14, 2009 at 01:30 AM

    Sara, hilarious and absolutely true.  Your fantasy version of the bachelorette is exactly my life!  Too funny.  The Enbrel shots!  The sudden flare ups!  The fatigue!  I mean, it's all just so sexy.  

     

    I can just imagine me on that show.  One of my dates would involve testing the males for their reaction when we're in the midst of hot sex and my hip locks up and I start screaming loud enough to be heard in the next state.

     

    Do they

     

    1.  Get even more excited and "conclude" in response to my obvious uncontrollable joy over their manly prowess?

     

    2.  Run for the fire estinguisher and start frantically spraying me with foam?

     

    3.  Break a window and scream for help?

     

    4.  Get the hell off me and run out the door nekkid?

     

    4.  Get the hell off me, switch modes instantly into calm, conforting caretaker and unfreaked-out friend, massage my hip while quietly telling me that everything is okay, patiently waiting with gentle humor until the pain subsides and the massage deepens so that we can resume sex in an easier position????????  YA THINK???

     

    Haven't yet experienced any number fours!  But hey, except for one very tiny experience with a disgusting sociopath, I haven't had sex in nearly 3 years now.

     

    (Sigh)  Still hoping, not dead yet, and vastly cheered by your stellar humor.

     

    Thanks again, as always,

    Susan

    Reply
    re: a great one!
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    Susan- ok, love your multiple choice quiz!!! Here's hoping for number 4, indeed!

    Reply
    re: a great one!
    Emma M
    Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 05:05 PM

    Calamity Jane .. I can't remember the last time I had tears of laughter about RA!  Hilarious.  Truly hope that you find your own Wild Bill Hickock pdq.   Nooky (a roll in the hay or, in our cases, a careful positioning on hay bale) may not be good for the hips but it's great for the soul.  (Just thinking that RA candidates on this show - which we don't see in the UK - would be fab for TV: we can't run away!!)  Wink

    Reply
  20. Untitled Comment
    jodi
    Wednesday, July 15, 2009 at 01:34 PM

    brilliant!

    Reply
    re: Untitled Comment
    Sara Nash
    Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at 11:01 AM
    thanks!
    Reply
  • Font size
  • Bookmark
  • Thank you for your input
  • Save
  • RSS
  • Report Abuse

Ask a Question

Get answers from our experts and community members.

View all questions (1915) >