All new to me...

I'm 51 female, eight months ago my ankles both started to hurt and I went to my doctor. Who looked at them and told me my pain was due to old injuries. The pain continued and slowly I noticed some other joints begining to become painful.  A month ago I finally went to a rheumatologist and he ran test and informed me I had Rheumatoid Arthritis.  Needless to say, I was davistated. I cried my whole walk home.  I have a wonderful family (husband and three adult children, the youngest 20 and Down Syndrome).  This is all new to all of us and we are trying to deal as best we can.  The pain and stiffness I fell daily is no way anyone should live with. I am on my third week of treatment and no major inprovement.  I find myself crying all the time and wanting me back.  I had so many plans for the future and they are all a puff of smoke because of my RA.  I have always taken pride in taking care of myself (a girly girl thing - make up, hair, neat , perfume.....) I am know unable to do any of that.  I have always hated being restricted or slowed down and find myslf there with RA.  I hate it.  I worry about my son who has Downs Syndrome and depends on me for his care.  I worry where this illness will take me in the next couple of years. I worry about my family and don't want this RA to alter thier life... I truly want to find some kind of RA long term center when I can just admit myself and disappear..... I want to scream and can't....... I'm lost with this journey in front of me and stuck on feeling sorry for myself.....