So about 15 years ago I was first introduced to RA. My mom (now 68) was diagnosed, and I remember clearly being irritated with her at times, not really buying the amount of pain she was in. I recall getting frustrated because she walked slow, and teasing her (in a loving way, truly) about switching to shoes with velcro because tying them was a pain.

Like many people, I was completely ignorant to what RA really is. My mom and I are close, best friends, and yet I still really believed she was "milking it" just a bit. Over time, the mouth sores caused by methotrexate necessitated Bird (that's my mom) to discontinue taking it. A few years later, we discovered that she had developed pulmonary fibrosis (likely caused by it as well) and a plethera of issues have continued since. We've always used humor as a coping mechanism in our family, and so I joked with Bird about her issues, chalking it up to just getting old.  

Turnabout is fair play, as they say.

About 2 months ago, at 38 years old, I started having symptoms that led to the diagnosis I received today (literally TODAY) - I have rheumatoid arthritis. The last two weeks have been spent in bed, doctor's offices, struggling through the workday when I can, and being terrified of what is coming next. From an emotional standpoint I have been everywhere from "woe is me" to "it's not so" and on to "$^%$ THIS!!!!"!!!! To call it a rollercoaster is the understatement of the year. Pain, fear, anger, sorrow, exhaustion, frustration...with moments of sadness and self-pity, that's where I have been wallowing. And yet as I sit here, I just realized something...I AM BLESSED.

1.  I have a mother who is incredibly strong and passed that strength to me, and who is still willing to get up everyday and fight through her health issues. She taught me to laugh at myself, to put my big girl panties on and to quit crying, and who let me borrow her walker for the week when I couldn't walk on my own. Through all her pain and issues, she still laughs, loves, and never gives up.

2.  I was diagnosed incredibly fast by RA standards, and have a rheumy who I really like so far. It could have been years (like it is for some) before treatment began.

3. I have a support system (God, Bird, an amazing dad, a FANTASTIC 8 yr old, an incredibly loving and supportive boyfriend, and a circle of friends worth their weight in gold) to hold me up, literally and figuratively, when I can't do it on my own.

So, friends, in this very moment I am feeling like I am going to kick RA's little you-know-what, and felt the need to share that empowerment with you. I AM SURE I will boo hoo again at some point, and hopefully reading this will remind me (and maybe one or two of you) that we are strong. My body may ache, I may be frustrated as all get out, but I will not lay down and take it. I will choose to get up, to put on my boxing gloves, and knock the crap out of each day. If I have to skip a round or two, no problem...it just means my next swing will be a roundhouse.