just venting....

Hi Jene,

Thanks for the window into your RA.

Yesterday, I complained too on my sharepost. I said I need a vacation from RA. I think you might need to come too...

I know just what you mean. I am on FB with the RA as of this week. I had been saying to myself to keep it off because FB is a happy place... Hope you will come see me there sometime if  you are comfortable. You can look under kelly young or rheumatoid arthritis warrior.   

I will still be "happy" there, but still I am being convicted to be real to break down walls.

Hope you get a good night's rest. I find good nights often follow and bad ones. Guess that's cuz I tend to sleep like a rock. Haha.

Kelly 

www.rawarrior.blogspot.com

Glad you did vent! We have all been there, done that. It is so hard to deal with, this is one nasty disease. Sounds like you have a very supportive husband and that is a great thing to have. Lean on him. I do on my wife, didn't like it at first, but she is my rock now! You need suppport as well as the meds. Please reach out to any of us when you need it. Hope you feel better.

Brad

Jene, thank you for venting as I've been sitting here reading all the new posts because I finally crawled out of bed at 3am after a night just like yours!  Do you ever think that maybe some parasite has crawled inside your body and is eating it from the inside out?  That's how I have been feeling a lot lately-  I even think "maybe I don't have RA and it's something else".  Makes me confused and crazy!!  So never think you are alone because if you are fighting the pain and exhaustion in the middle of the night again, just think of me and I'll think of you - because we'll probably be doing the same thing!  I think it is quite classy to get this stuff off your mind- you're right about this being a safe place because we truly understand and will keep you in our thoughts.  Hang in there... thank goodness there is always a tomorrow- you never know what it will bring.

Maybe one of these days it will bring a miracle!

Donna

Hi.

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond....no excuses ~ kind of just go in spurts online.

Thank you everyone who commented on my "venting"....

It's been a strange summer for me so far....unemployed....a little afraid of getting a new job and what I'll be able to do. 

Trying to get as much done at home as I can so I'm contributing something....

Been to the pool a few times...yesterday we went after I picked up my oldest from camp.

There were a lot of people there and for whatever reason they congregated around the stairs...adults- laughing, drinking etc...not obnoxious so much....just not a group I felt comfortable "excusing myself through".

Either way it was humbling to sit by the edge of the pool...slip into the water and realize that I pretty much was stuck there....couldn't boost myself enough with my ankles or support myself with my wrists...both necessary to get out of the pool when steps aren't an option.

My husband said I should've said excuse me and made them move....but to them that would just look like I wanted to walk through their party....my issues aren't obvious to strangers....not blatantly anyway....so it was humbling I think to realize at that moment I was "disabled"...not that I am all the time....or that I've accepted that label by any stretch of the imagination....but in the pool, at that moment I knew that feeling....trapped, embarrassed, frustrated,sad....

I decided to swim thru the deep end and use the ladder there...it wasn't easy and was probably a little comical but I was able to get out of the water....

Perhaps that's my life right now....just looking for the ladder....

Everyday there's something new.