side effects ?

Ok...today is Wednesday - I think?  I've been unemployed a little too long and the days are all running together .

It's become a little frustrating looking for a job....not knowing for sure what I'm capable of anymore....I know I type slower...and couldn't be a nanny for a baby...too many bottles/jars to open...so as I apply and bs my way through interviews...and drain our savings....

My body reacts to the stress that I can't seem to get out from under.....I hate that RA doesn't allow me to lie to myself anymore. 

I used to just "fake it 'til you make it" and got through whatever madness presented itself....not anymore.

So right now my head is so full of contradicting thoughts that I feel like my mind's going to explode.

I have to get a job so we aren't financially screwed.....but I don't know what I can do....

I know I have to eat better....better foods and more often....especially if I want to fight this holistically (sp?).....but that costs money...blah blah blah

I know I need to exercise regularly....but I'm scared to make this worse....I don't know how/where to start?

I'm seeing my chiro regularly and it helps...but can't afford the co pay for the first time this week and though he'd let me rack up a bill....I don't want to do that....

I know that I have to take some form of medicine at night or this crap will wake me in the night and be hell. I will have that raging fire feeling from my numb fingertips to my shoulder and that butcher knife scraping the side of my knee ....and I won't be able to move when I wake up....

So initally it was 50mg of diclofenac as needed....

then 75mg of diclofenac extended release, 1 two times aday and Plaquenil - don't know the dosage for that....never had any intention of taking it....

didn't notice much difference from the 2nd diclofenac other than my stomach going crazy and flu symptoms.....

Then new dr says this is Palendromic (?) onset in the process of becoming "full blown"

changes the med to Mobic and gives me three weeks to ponder methotrexate (sp?).....

because he knows my goal is to do this naturally until/unless it becomes inevitable to take the meds...

Three days into Mobic...the swelling is going down...I have knuckles and knee caps again.....can't remember when I last saw them....I'd blamed their disappearance on gaining weight- which contributed...but they really are still there.  I was starting to feel a little giddy....

thinking I can take the Mobic while I'm getting all the other stuff in place and combine the two plans until I feel well enough to drop the meds totally....

Then my stomach goes crazy....same as with the other med....but a little worse....I'm thinking I'll eat more yogurt and it'll be ok......then the cramping and my lower back starts to hurt....I should've seen the signs and known what was coming......next thing I know it's the bleeding (yes that kind of bleeding and it wasn't as traumatic as it could've been- I have issues like that off on on)......and I'm furious and frustrated and wondering just how freaking far into denial I really am?