Life with RA

I am 39 years old and was diagnosed 5 yrs ago, and misdiagnosed for the 3 years before that as Burn out. My pain mostly started in my feet and knees. I was so exhausted all the time and thought wow, is this what its like in your 30's. After going to the doc every 6 months and being told it was burn out from working a full time job, running a farm and raising 4 kids it looked logical. But why did I walk like a 103 year old every morn for 2 hours?  Also no amount of sleep was enough sleep. So Cut down my burn out, let more go as in house cleaning, cut back to a 3/4 job, and cut down farm animals drastically. Then out of no where a bump came between my toes. I thought it was nothing but showed the dr. They thought it ma be a ganglion. After a xray, then a bone scan then a Mri, it showed a huge mass in my foot. Still not knowing what it was I had a biopsy. Out inside the bone of my foot. Then booked for surgery, the mass was removed. It was RA. I had RA. I worked in a nursing home, i saw the deformities of our clients hands. I bawled in the dr office. I didnt want that. Started on plaquenil, then added methotrexate pills. Became very ill. Had the pills while i was off work for 6 weeks for my surgery. I was not only sick and tired, now I had nausea. So after a trial of the methotrexate pills, I had to quit them as i was going back to work tired and in pain could not also be puking. So they added Sulfasalazine to the plaquenil and of course pain killers. After being back to work for a few months I had to admit I couldnt do it. So I had to quit my job. Very hard as I have always worked. But I knew I was not able to do my job 100%.As well after work I went straight to bed and slept all weekend as well. My 4 kids were now looking after me. Not the way its to be. During all this my husband and I became seperated, so my kids needed a mom. So quitting work aloud me to sleep all day, and see them for a few hours before bed. Then sleep all night. THere was only a certain amount of energy to go around, and they deserved all I had. Any way for a few years the dr have wanted me to go on new meds, meth shots, or Humaria or embrel or remicade. This scares me. The new meds dont have long term study effects as they are new. The methotrexate has been used longer. SWo this week I will give in and try them for 12 weeks. I still want nothing to do with the new Biologic meds. Maybe someone can give me input on them. I have read alot, but as I said they dont really have a long term effect history that makes me feel a o k. Any way lots of days are couch days with blankets over the head. Loved ones try to understand, but sometimes it does not come across right. If I hear one more time "well if you go out for fresh air and see the sun you will feel better" I will puke. If thats all it took would life not be swell. Any way thats a small part of my life over the past few years. You know its a pain one does not see thats why I feel some dont understand it,if a bone was sticking out with blood gushing other would know your knees hurt. Unless you are in ones shoes you cant judge their life or pain.