Flare Days

blah blah blah....is usually the emotion I feel on these days. I've been doing this for almost a year, kinda wishing I never quit breast feeding! lol. I worry soooo very much about the effect my "disease" will cause on my two wonderful, bright and charming boys. I also wonder if its going to be the demise of my relationship. Hmmm....I sure have to try damn hard to pull myself out of that rut.

I have to remember that I am lucky to have the life that I have been given. I am starting to feel the love again..could just be the pain pills talking too! hahaha My boys are wonderful and amazing...watching them grow into lil young men is a blessing! My huny gets frustrated as I do, its hard to keep communicating, but we do our damnest to support eachother. I have dreams to one day be able to Play in volleyball tournaments, do my boxing work-outs 3x a week and start running a mile and a half with my huny again....I PROMISE MYSELF, I WILL GET THERE AGAIN. Maybe not in the same form but i will get there.

I have to tell myself, "Just suck it up Summer, your young and lucky to have the life you have. Get off your butt and help yourself, there are many more people worse off than you."

Someday I will listen to myself...hahaha. I will though I promise, just takes time and strength.

But for now...I could really use a hug and some empathy...

(just what I've been thinking today, while im home with my 16 mo old son)