blah blah blah....is usually the emotion I feel on these days. I've been doing this for almost a year, kinda wishing I never quit breast feeding! lol. I worry soooo very much about the effect my "disease" will cause on my two wonderful, bright and charming boys. I also wonder if its going to be the demise of my relationship. Hmmm....I sure have to try damn hard to pull myself out of that rut.
I have to remember that I am lucky to have the life that I have been given. I am starting to feel the love again..could just be the pain pills talking too! hahaha My boys are wonderful and amazing...watching them grow into lil young men is a blessing! My huny gets frustrated as I do, its hard to keep communicating, but we do our damnest to support eachother. I have dreams to one day be able to Play in volleyball tournaments, do my boxing work-outs 3x a week and start running a mile and a half with my huny again....I PROMISE MYSELF, I WILL GET THERE AGAIN. Maybe not in the same form but i will get there.
I have to tell myself, "Just suck it up Summer, your young and lucky to have the life you have. Get off your butt and help yourself, there are many more people worse off than you."
Someday I will listen to myself...hahaha. I will though I promise, just takes time and strength.
But for now...I could really use a hug and some empathy...
(just what I've been thinking today, while im home with my 16 mo old son)
I do understand what you mean..Yes you are blessed I think we all are..At least were living right..Im 32yrs old mother of 5 beautiful kids! A 14,12,10,9,7 yrs old..3boys 2girls..I have had Lupus since I was 21..RA and Fibromylgia about 4to 5yrs..I to used to work out everyday..YEa Im lucky if I can walk to the restroom with out help now!
Communication is key in any relationship..but especially when dealing with this! Because we dont look sick from the outside..Its in the inside where you feel like you cant function! ...Im sure you'll accomplish all that..But dont beat yourself up if you cant just yet..Especially when theres flare ups..forget it ..This is when I get so mad at myself that I cant get out of bed..Its hard but not impossible..There are days when your going to feel like what the heck...Why does'nt my body function like my mind does..U know cause in our mind where like ..yea shopping ...soccer mom..blah blah..but then your so tired..its like hello!! But its not cause your lazy or dont care about your honey or kids..THis what we all go Through...We all feel the same way..I cant even drive down the street cause Im so exhausted...I feel like a failure sometimes but I know Im not..Us as woman we carry alot of weight on our shoulders..
But stay strong...You'll be ok!!