I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time and no wonder - not only have you lost your job and have to grieve that, you have to grieve that you are too disabled to work, you have to adjust to the pain and on top of that, you're not getting the medication you need. Check out Lisa Emrich's post on financial assistance - it's a long list and hopefully, you'll be able to find a place that can help you. Also try asking your doctor for advice about getting the medication when you don't have a lot of money.

It also sounds as if you and your doctor needs to work on communicating better - essentially, you doctor needs to work on it, but often, we who live with a chronic illness have to sort of "train" our medical team so they understand that they are on a team and that you are the team leader. Having been an advocate for your family, you already have many of the skills that are essential to navigating the medical system when you have a chronic illness, but you may want to read a post I wrote a while back on self advocacy - it might give you suggestions that can help you break the deadlock you're currently having with your doctor. I would also recommend counseling, but if you don't have money, that can be difficult. Your family doctor may be able to recommend places to do it on a sliding scale or for free and if you have a choice, find somebody who specializes in cognitive therapy - I've received counseling numerous times over my 40+ year "career" with RA and the one that was most effective was cognitive therapy. I can also highly recommend a book called The First Year with Rheumatoid Arthritis - it's incredibly helpful and covers all aspects of adjusting to this disease, both for people who have just been diagnosed and for those of us who have lived with it longer. You can find a review of that book and an interview with its author here. When your disease is better controlled and you have more energy, you may also want to check out a couple of posts I wrote on working with RA, going back to school and an interview with Gayle Backstrom who wrote a book called I'd Rather Be Working - you may be able to find a way to make some extra money. It is understood that SSD is not enough to live on, so there is an allowance for having a bit of an income. Double or triple check with your local office/caseworker what that amount is so you don't lose your income

You've found this site and that's a good thing - so much of living well with this disease is connected to finding a place where people know what you're going for. We have a fantastic community of very supportive members here, so keep coming back, read other people's SharePosts, write more of your own, look through our Q&A section. It can help you get through. And you will. Step one is to get treated so your RA simmers down and goes into the background - it does wonders for your ability to cope. And cope you will. It takes a while, it takes hard work, but you'll get to the point where life takes over and you can get back on track.

Good luck!