Emotional and Financial Challenges of Rheumatoid Arthritis

Alyssa- One of the problems with having RA is that quite often people are clueness about what it is you have and what you are going through. This is partly because it is called arthritis.  "Oh yeah, I have arthritis too." is what I often hear.  "My little pinkie acts up all the time."  TV ads perpetuate the myth by showing people taking drugs and functioning normally again as if healed.  The truth is that this painful disease is always lurking and affects your life all the time.  In the end you learn to plod ahead and not bother complaining as it won't get you anything anyway.  

Each person has to deal with the disease in their own way and find what medication works for them as the disease is different in each of us.  As time goes by I have learned to manage my RA and I am doing surprisingly well, living as normal a life as possible.  I do have great support from my wife and with medication, proper exercise (very important) and diet I am doing quite well. Without health insurance and expensive drugs I have no idea what my life would be like but it would be bad.

I hope your project is a success.  Remember that knowledge is power and with it anything is possible.  Take care of your health as it is a lot more fragile than you know.  Live each day as if it were your last.  You never know when a dibilitating disease can strike.  Be kind and helpful to others, especially the infirm as some day you will be in the same boat.  May God bless you! 

Steve    

Hi Alyssa =)

The way that my RA effects me emotionally, is I get depressed that I can't do all of the things that I feel I should be able to do.  I'm 31, and a mother of 4 young boys.  I can't go bike riding with them like they want me to.  I can't take my 2 year old on a walk in his stroller when every single step I take HURTS.  I have to rely on my older children to help more than they should sometimes.  (I'm sure you can relate to this)  My husband works 2nd shift, and he is really good about going to the store for me to get the groceries that we will need for dinner.  One particular day I was having a bad day, so he picked up fish sticks for me to feed the boys for dinner.  Simple, right?  I was in so much pain and so fatigued, that my 11 year old made dinner that night.  His first time using the oven.  He was so proud of himself.. and so was I.  I was also so down on myself for not being able to be a mother like I should.  Sometimes when I'm in a bad flare up that just does not seem to want to ever go away.. when it gets really bad.. when even getting up to go to the bathroom is such a struggle (let alone chasing after my toddler) I wonder if it is all worth it?  I wonder if my family would be better off without the burden of me, and I wish that I could just fade away.  Life isn't supposed to be this hard.  And then I feel guilty for even thinking those thoughts, because there are sooo many out there that are worse off than I am.  I don't have cancer, I don't have AIDS, I don't have Parkinsons... I'm not going to die from this disease.  And I suppose for that I should be grateful. 

Wow... I sound really depressing, don't I?  LOL!  Aren't you glad you asked?! :-p  Every day isn't like this, but more often than I'd like.  I just really wish I could be the mother and wife that my family deserves. 

Good luck on your senior project hun.  

God Bless,

Suzi 

Alyssa,

I don't have much info for you as I am newly diagnosed.  I am fortunate that I have good insurance to help with the costs of doctor visits and prescriptions.  I also am able to continue to work so financially I'm ok.  Emotionally I was devastated at first to find out I had RA.  Thank goodness for RACentral.  Reading posts and asking questions was a tremendous help.  I was feeling so isolated, but I realized not only was I not alone, but that other people had the same feelings and frustrations that I had.  The periods of overwhelming pain cannot help but cause some depression.  When you cannot do simple things, that you used to take for granted, it is so frustrating.  And then I do start feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself, when so many people have worse conditions.  Recently I had a great reprieve from the pain and my energy level and mood improved tremendously.  Though the pain is returning, it hasn't been as bad and I have hope that I will find a way to continue to do the things that are important to me.  And that hope is vital.

It sounds as if you have been a tremendous help and support for your mother.  My teenaged son has been has been wonderful too.  Best of luck with your project.  Hope this reply has helped.

Liz

Hi Alyssa.Im a 32 yr old mother of 5 kids..As to the way it affects your family..Im sure you know all to well..I have a 14, 12, 10,9,7..yr old ..My husband is an engineer works alot..So my kids have to do most of everything when I cant..As a mom we feel like..we failed you guys..I see my kids, When they want me to go to one of there games and Im  like I cant..My husband goes with them..But sometimes they want there mom..I feel so sad..I get so depressed..I pray to God that my kids always understand..ANd that they dont have resentment towards me..Because believe me..Me as a mom I think that! I dont want my kids feeling as if I wasnt there for them..I dont want them to think that Im lazy! THat they dont matter..I dont want my husband to think that I dont want to go out with him and have fun! Im just in so much pain unless you go through it. Noone knows! We have so much self dought..So much guilt..Especially because from the outside you look normal..but its the joints,muscles,bones that are literally disabling you!! I sometimes tell my husband to find himself a whole woman!!..That he does'nt have to stick with me and deal with this!! He does help me so much, Working so much and still will come home and go to the store and will not complain if I dont cook..He's so beautiful of a person!..Thats the kind of stuff we go through!! Very Emotional Right? Trust me..Noone fakes something like this..Noone can't! ITs to painful! Noone would want to!  I hope I could help a little bit with your research! Financially thank God for Insurance..I know does'nt cover all..But what it does cover keeps us out of Bankruptcy!

Hope all goes well..