How RA has changed my life.

How has RA changed my life?  DRASTICALLY!   I see things much different now and do not take some of the things I did during my pre-RA days for granted. 

When I was first was told I had RA, I was in total disbelief. I thought the pain in both my shoulders was just old age coming on (I was 50 at that time). I was in denial.  I was determined this was not going to stop me from doing what I always did in the past.  Well, RA taught me different.  I was doing okay for the first year, then in the 2nd year, my mother-in-law had open heart surgery, had complications and so the week of Thanksgiving, I had to pack up her 3 bedroom apartment and put part in storage and move the rest to an assisted living facility which in turn did not work out so I had to pack that stuff up in that same week and move that into storage as well.  Then a month later, we had to clear out the storage unit due to her death and that brought on full fledged flareup which I have not been able to get under control in the last year and a half. I think the stress from doing all that and her death was the straw that broke the camels back. 

Last year, my doctor tried me on different oral medications in which I had reactions to each of them; then Humira injections this year with severe reactions after the 3rd injection.  We just got approval from my insurance for infusion therapy. I am working on getting financial aid to help pay my copay since each infusion treatment is $3500.00. If I cannot get the assistance, then I most likely will not do the infusion treatment.

In the meantime, I have learned to let go of things I took for granted. I can no longer crochet, so I gave all my hooks, patterns, yarn, etc to friends from my office who crochet.  Then, just recently, my joints in my lower body started swelling so the doctor said no more walking, it was doing more damage to the joints but he recommended riding an exercise bike.  Well, I didn't have the money for one and a friend from work who knew about me not being able to walk, called me and asked me if I wanted her exercise bike.  She said it was just taking space in her family room with all her other equipment and she was going to donate if I did not want it.  Of course I accepted and now am at 30-40 minutes a day on it.  I read or watch TV when riding and hope to get up to an hour a day.  On days I'm feeling fatigued, I do only 30 minutes.  With winter coming on, I am happy I'll be able to continue it throughout the season.

I work from home now for my company which I really appreciate the fact that I was able to.  I have my 8 cats and 2 dogs and husband (who is disabled) for company.  I don't have the stress of the commute to and from the office and I can take breaks when my hands are bothering me too much and make up the time in the same day.  I love the type of work I do so that is an added bonus.

My pre-RA weekends I would make a "To Do" list each weekend. I would work it all day until late in the evening until it was completed.  Now, I no longer make these lists.  I've learned that I just have to wait and see what each day brings.  There are good days where I can get things done and then there are the not so good days where I have no energy, am in pain and just want to rest. I take naps when my body tells me. So on the upside, I have learned to listen to my body.  I have always loved cooking so am trying new recipes. I have learned to use things in the kitchen that are easier to handle.  I read more (not just magazines). I've learned to stop and appreciate the beauty in each day. I cherish my good days and draw strength from them when things are not quite as good.  I nurture my spirit and I have my faith to help me through those rough spots.  I know God will always be here to help me and that gives me strength.