wishing I didn't have RA is not an option

I was diagnosed with RA in July of 2008 and I am trying to learn how to quit wishing I didn't have it because I do. I am always searching for my own answer and I hope that sometime in the near future I can find it. I have tried many drugs for help with this disease and right now I take methotrexate injections 30mg every week. I do have some side affects, the most of which so far is extreme hair loss, I do get some relief from the pain but not from the extreme fatigue. I am on and off prednisone and I don't think I will ever take that drug again. It has affected my eyesight, it makes me mean and unreasonable and worst of all I have gained 30 lbs, it just sucks. I had no idea that so many people suffered from this crappy disease and I am so sorry for all of us. I have a very supportive husband and a great family but none of them really " get it ", how severe this disease is and how it affects your life every day and night. I haven't had a good night's sleep in more than a year and I look and feel like it. I don't like to take sleeping pills because they leave me feeling groggy for days at a time. I think I really could fight this if I didn't feel so completely run down. people are always telling me they know someone who has this disease but I have not yet met anyone else who does though I know they are out there. It is nice to find a place to feel like you can vent. People always ask how I am feeling amd I just say I'm doing o.k. because I am tired of whining about it and I am sure they are tired of hearing me whine about it. I have also started having vertigo and my husband found a place that says this can be linked to autoimmune diseases. Has anyone had this happen to them? Its pretty freaky and maybe tops the pain from the RA. Anyway...I am hoping for a good day tomorrow and maybe a little sunshine and warm weather, that always helps.