I am way to young for this and I feel like my life is ruined

Brad, Health Guide

4/15/09 12:00am

We are all right here! You have found the BEST spot on the web for support! I am recently diagnosed myself, I know the feelings of being helpless and being scared, depressed. Read the share posts and questions on this site. There is a ton of good information to help you. Please do not feel alone, I personally started out on Naproxen and Pred......didn't help me at all, sounds like it didn't help you either. I then went to Mobic and Pred...still nothing. I now am on Pred and Demerol and had steroid shots in my hands....still think the Pred does nothing. I am starting Methotrexate next week. It is a long hard struggle to find the right meds, don't give up! One thing I have learned on this site is that it all takes time. I know the pain is screaming for relief right now! Have you seen a RA doc? If not, please get a referral to one, don't waste too much time with GP's or Ortho's. They can diagnose it, but it takes precious time to get there. Get to a good Rheumotologist and get started on the right meds.

I know the pain is hard, come to this site and READ! We are all on the same path. I truly hope you feel better soon. Feel free to write anytime.

Feel better,

Brad

Sarahrenee111

4/15/09 12:17am

Thank you Brad.

I just came across this site tonight, and I am so glad that I am not the only one with these feelings. I used to be such a strong, optimistic, individual, and I have never felt so weak, angry, sad and alone.

It gives me hope.

Brad, Health Guide

4/15/09 12:27am

Please keep on hoping! I know how bad the depression can be, you are not alone. Keep fighting! There are a lot of good people here that will be right on your side! Read some of the share posts.......I felt SO alone at first, like I was the only one in the world who felt so miserable. I was not! It may be a small victory, but we are all here to support you! Email anytime! I check this site all the time, it gives me hope!

Feel better,

Brad

Sarahrenee111

4/15/09 1:03am

Forget depression...Sara Nash's comics might just do the trick:) They made me smile a little.

Sara Nash, Health Guide

4/15/09 10:04pm

Hey Sarah,

I'm glad that I could help you laugh a little even in the midst of everything you are going through. I had a hard enough time being diagnosed at 29 with only myself to worry about and take care of, so my heart goes out to you! But, to chime in on what everyone else has been saying, there are so many of us that are figuring out our way through this crappy disease, so you are at least in good company! We are here when you need a place to turn.

Sara

Patti B.

4/16/09 4:09pm

Hang in there girl!!!!! We are all here for you. I'm 59 years old and diagnosed 3 years ago. I am using Humira which is a wonder drug. It truly has helped. I also take Tramadol for the pain. It's a generic drug and non narcotic. You might want to ask your doc for a script. I also swim and do water aerobics. I know walking is extremely difficult for you, but if you could somehow get into an indoor pool and just move as gently as possible, it might help some of the pain. Don't ever give up hope!!!!

tessie

4/15/09 1:07am

So sorry you are having these troubles. Young OR old, nobody should have to deal with this.

BUT, it CAN be dealt with. You are too young to have to feel old, but you are NOT too young to get creative and find ways to do the things you MUST until you can do the things you WANT! It's easy to lose sight of creativity when RA demands so much attention. It is so distracting!!

For instance... If you breastfed, then like me you had to figure out how to do it without getting a stiff neck, or sore shoulder, or achy hands. Same thing applies here...except we have the added stress of worrying about what's wrong with us, being mad that we can't do some things, and dealing with constant pain. Like the rest of us, you will have to find new ways of doing things, at least for a while. Maybe make a "bed" on the floor and let the babies crawl on you for an hour. Make it a game that Mommy can't pick you up, so you have to crawl up Mt. Mommy. Things like that.

I hope you don't think I am in any way, shape, or form making light of your situation, ok?! I have the utmost respect for you young moms who are coping with these symptoms and/or diagnosis. Unbelievable.

Hang in there, hun. Come here and "let it all out!" Read our members posts, ask questions, and know that we are with you!

hattie

3/14/11 4:21pm

"Making a "bed on the floor"?

People with severe RA cannot get down on the floor or up off the floor.

Even the "immune suppressing biologicals, methotrexate and 600 mgs of ibuprofen will not allow you to get on and off the floor.

suezcoe

4/15/09 9:47am

WOW! I know just what you are saying. I'm almost 47 and feel the same way. I have a 15month old granddaughter. My family has wanted to move too, but we live in a ranch home and I have told them this is what is best for me (how selfish???) I finally broke down and called my Drs. office today to ask for stronger pain meds. Vicodin just isn't helping. I need to sleep for more than 45mins. to and hr. at a time. I wake up in such agony. I feel for you. Your life isn't over, just put on hold for a time. There is a medecine out ther that will help you, it will just take time to find it. I had my 1st infusion of Orencia yesterday, It could take 6 months for it to take full effect. I've had RA for about 14 yrs. now, and have been on all different meds. Humira in combo with methotrexate was the longest, best relief. I knew it wouldn't last forever. I have high hopes for Orencia. Hang in there!!!!!

Tortoiselvr

4/15/09 1:11pm

You've found the right place. I'm newly diagnosed, too - it's overwhelming and frightening. I'm very sorry that this is all surrounding you right now and you feel so depressed, in pain, etc. I read the stories here and I have hope that in a few months we'll be posting about how different our lives are due to the fantastic drugs we're taking (that may make us feel crappy the day after we take them, but well worth it for 6 days of feeling better) . I'm sorry I can't offer more support, as I'm a newbie too and waiting for methotrexate to kick in, but know you are not alone.

(( big hug ))

Laura

4/15/09 2:54pm

Sarah,

I'm so sorry, but please know that you are in the right place. I found this site about 6 wks ago and it has been such a Godsend for me.

Please don't give up HOPE! Never give up your hopes or dreams it does get better. You will hear a lot of us posting about our aches and pains, complaining about our docs etc., but there are a lot of posts that are success stories. I hold on to the successes and know that I someday soon will also be posting of my success as well! I have constant pain that has not let up yet and I'm only on Methrotrexate, but I refuse to give up hope and refuse to give up my dreams and REFUSE to let RA win! You need to keep an attitude of determination and hope. Stay on this site and it will get better!

God Bless!

Richard

4/16/09 10:57am

Your story parallels my own. In 1962 I was diagnosed with RA. With a 3 year old son and a 5 year old daughter and a great wife I felt real fear for the first time in my life. How badly was this RA thing going to cripple me? How would we live? Lots of concerns and very few answers. Medical options were scarce back then. Aspirin and steroids were about the extend of the options.

Fast forward to today. I am 75 years old and managed to work and support my family just fine. The meds today are so magical. Doctors now have the desease modifying meds such as Remicade, Embrel and the old standby, Methotrexate. These meds can be a real difference between a life of pain and misery and a life which is nearly pain free and is truly worth living.

If you have not already done so I would recommend you see a Board Certified Rheumatologist as soon as possible. They have so many tools now. Please don't deprive yourself and your family of the benefits which can now be provided by the rheumatologist.

Sarahrenee111

4/16/09 8:07pm

What a great story...you truly are someone to look up to! Thank you for sharing with us, because I think you may have given more hope to so many more than just me!

Nancy S.

4/16/09 11:23am

After being treated twice for Lyme Disease and having the symptoms return within 48 hours, I made an appointment with a Rheumotologist - best thing I ever did! I have tried several drugs, several drug combinations and seem to be doing pretty good with the combination I am on right now. Thats the key - find a Rheumotologist and find the right drugs for you. It's hard to be patient while you are trying all these different drugs - I thought I would find one and feel better tomorrow. Doesn't work that way. I take diclofenac, methotrexate and plaquenil - works pretty good.

I know you are young but re-read the post from the 75 year old man.

Hollybgroovin, Health Guide

4/16/09 11:48am

My heart goes out to you because I too have been in that same lonely, frustrating place! I was diagnosed at 25, just two years after having my second son although I began my journey for a diagnosis right after his birth. I was unable to hold my own son to feed him. I also tried to work and ended up on short term disability shortly after my diagnosis. I remember making excuses for limping and for being unable to use my hands, as I didn't have a reason to my madness at the time. I often say, in my blogs, that this disease only affects the strongest of the strongs, and you my dear sound like supermom! You may be wondering how I dealt and truthfully I still have times where I can't. That being said, you fight this disease! There will always be couch days where you want to lay on the couch or in bed with the covers pull over your head and cry and wish away all this pain. Please know that is normal! The depression is strong, but please know that if you aren't at the point to where you feel strong enough to fight this disease, then do if for your kids and for the ones who love you and have seen your struggle. And don't worry, your kids will adjust. I know that all of this breaks your heart and you might feel as though this is unfair to your kids...but think of it this way-Your kids will grow up to be compassionate, loving adults who are kind to those with disabilities and struggles. And in the world that we live in now, we definitely need more adults like that! I have been sick since my oldest was three and he is 9 now, and I have been sick all my 6-year-olds life. I was so depressed about the burden I had caused them, and so worried that they would grow up to resent me because I couldn't do things with them that other moms could do. But if they want to go roller skating and I am in a flare, I have movie night where we watch a movie of their choice and have snacks of their chose, because then I can rest as well. If they want to go swimming and I am in a flare, I take them to pizza instead or give them a coupon to go swimming on a day where I feel much better. Kids adjust, that's one thing that is so wonderful about them! No, it's NOT fair...it will NEVER be FAIR! But You will find hope in watching your kids play, you will find strength in seeing how brave they are for you when you are sick. As far as the short term disability goes, it hurts our pride to have to admit that we can't do it all anymore. It makes us lose a sense of who we thought we were. But think of it this way...if you over do it with the working and playing supermom your pain will only get worse. So take it easy and allow yourself to have some much needed rest. Yes it may hurt your pride, but if you overdo it, then that will leave you with the inability to be supermom for your kids. The struggle and the fight is just plain long, hard, and exhausting, but it IS WORTH IT! I know that is true, because years ago I was the most pessimistic person living with this disease and I thought that life as I knew it was over. I laid in bed for months without acknowledging any of the people I love. My husband thought he had lost his wife forever, and my kids wondered if their mom still loved them. I missed far too much time feeling that I had lost my life instead of living my life. We are all here to support you whenever you need it whether it be a question you have, or even if you just want to cry out loud in a sharepost. We are all fighters. Please remember that it is only when you feel that you have lost everything, that you can see what you really have. Good luck and best wishes, we are all here for you!

cackreagan

4/16/09 1:16pm

hello fellow ra sufferer,

i was diagnoised when i was 40 and i thought that was way too young to be crippled and in so much pain that brushing my teeth was feat. my father was diagnosed at this same age and by the time he died at 60 was completely crippled and in great pain. this was how i saw my life unfolding so i gave in and up. i continued to go downhill until i was non functioning and eating pain pills like candy. then i got mad at the fact that this dreaded disease was ruling me so i got busy with the job of making my life livable. i studied the eastern/western med. routes, i sought out internet stories/cures.....i did EVERYTHING anyone suggested. somethings worked, most did not. what is working for me is banning the nightshade family of foods from my diet. look this up. yes u will not want to give up several of the foods, but give this a try. detoxing from these foods will take a few months but u will see vast improvements. i believe that ra is a symptom of being allergic....to what is the million dollar question. i have been a vegeterian for 30 years but still ate organic cheeses....upon my chiropractors suggestion i removed that also.

again....the swelling subsided. u just have to try EVERYTHING, but mostly be proactive in your own care. do not leave it up to doctors who see too many patients to really care about the individual. the other biggie i did was to get into a drug study. testing new ra products not yet on the market. ask your primary care doc if they know of anyone running a drug study in your area.

i take an infusion once a month and even get paid for my time. i'm down to a few pain pills a day which is heavenly.

this drug i am on now has enabled me to once again LIVE MY LIFE. i am walking 3 mi a day. hiking, gardening, bla bla bla...things 2 years ago i thought were totally impossible. i was ready to sell my home because it was too much to tend. am i glad i didn't.

another suggestion is to read all the ingredients on what your buying....the stuff you are trying to remove from your diet is lurking there. don't eat fast foods. drink lots of water. when u eat something and your body reacts within an hour of so, then u are allergic. remove it. exercise even when u hurt too bad to move. don't let that joint lock. it won't come back from being locked. u have to keep mobility in all joints.

yoga/stretching/swimming/watertherapy. i have a hot tub, very small, but very effective. i soak each morning and begin my day warming up my bones/muscles. morning is my worst time of day. so this helps tremendously. i know i'm rambling, but i want all of u to know life doesn't have to stop. just change. grieve for life u thought u were going to have and then begin again........

KatieClaire's Mommy

4/16/09 3:19pm

I have yet to read the other comments so I might sound like some others, but now that you are diagnosed hope is not lost, I was in the same boat a couple years ago and now that I am on meds (still workin them out) I feel a lot better. I still get flare ups of course but I can get out of bed and walk in the morning without looking a 100. I too am 25 and wish you could of been diagnosed sooner, my cousin waited and had more damage done than me but she is doing better as well. She is on stronger meds but she is working fine again and raising her two beautiful children. Hang in there and hopefully in a few months you will start seeing results!

~Holly

KatieClaire's Mommy

4/16/09 3:19pm

I have yet to read the other comments so I might sound like some others, but now that you are diagnosed hope is not lost, I was in the same boat a couple years ago and now that I am on meds (still workin them out) I feel a lot better. I still get flare ups of course but I can get out of bed and walk in the morning without looking a 100. I too am 25 and wish you could of been diagnosed sooner, my cousin waited and had more damage done than me but she is doing better as well. She is on stronger meds but she is working fine again and raising her two beautiful children. Hang in there and hopefully in a few months you will start seeing results!

~Holly

KatieClaire's Mommy

4/16/09 3:27pm

Sorry is posted twice. Also I started on planquenil and then moved on to methotrexate, it makes me sick but it also makes my RA better.

YellowRose22

4/16/09 4:06pm

Chin up they all say, tough it out, hang in there, etc. etc. etc. but when you are where you are right now, and I have been there, (there right now) it all sounds so easy to PERK UP, LIVE WITH IT, but I have to say this, this website and ALL its members are wonderful, I dont know how i would get through the day without all the support, and HUGS and well wishes, and just to know I am not alone, crazy or anything else others want to label me. So for all the HUGS, WELL WISHES, and PRAYERS I can muster, they are sent to you. Keep this site in your favorites, it will become your best friend anytime of night or day!!!

God Bless

Laurie

Jclifford0423

4/16/09 4:36pm

I'm not necessarily talking about the RA. I was diagnosed in 1996 after separating with my husband. I was scared to death! But I was also lucky because I managed to get an excellent specialist. He started me on DMARDS, Biologics, etc. I could walk again, then I could work again. In time I got used to the RA. It is just part of me, good or bad. It has caused several problems and my meds have been adjusted numerous times, but I'm OK, inside. I have been with a very supportive guy since 2003. He admires my courage. I'm still beautful in his eyes. I finally had to give up working and that was very hard to do. Instead I'm raising a teenage grandson. That takes courage. Hang in there, deep breaths, it will be OK. There will always be some pain but there are good drugs that help it not hurt so much. It is a different way of life than any of us thought we would have but these are the cards that have been dealt to us so we need to just hang in there and know it could be worse.

Sarahrenee111

4/16/09 7:51pm

It is great to know, that I am now part of this online community full of so many good people, that care about my problems and understand where I am coming from...what you have all taken the time to write has helped me a great deal, and this site, and your comments are definitly one of the better things to come my way this year!

My doctor changed my prednisone dose and gave me a new painkiller on Monday. I have not let her give me any strong stuff yet, because I want to be a good mom..not a loopy lazy drugged one....well, thats how my mind saw it before.

I have only taken it a few times, but I had a great day...went for a walk with my kids in the sunshine...played at the park...I am exhausted, and I really really feel the pain now, but it was worth the great day we all had together.

'The med is tramadol with tylenol...and it seems to be a good mix for now. And I am taking 20 mg of prednisone once a day for a few more days..then dr wants it down to 15 mg...I will keep you all posted...thank you thank you again for the support!

cazeasty

4/17/09 12:38pm

Hi so pleased things are sorting out for you, I felt so humble and selfish when I read your story. I am in the process of being diagnosed and am going through the scared weepy stage, I have at least had some life, I am now 59 but am hoping that the rheumy will sort me out so I can continue with my life. All I have is pain in the hands and feet and sometimes at the sides of my knees, but I have not felt wiped out, carrying on with my job. Hopefully I'm at the begining and can be helped sooner, hope things keep on improving and that a cure is just around the corner!!! Cazeasty

Tammy Coolidge

4/17/09 6:30pm

Hey Sarah - Your story is so much like mine! I was diagnosed about 1 1/2 years ago at age 35. It started as pain in my feet and over a few months took over my whole body.When my Dr. finally diagnosed it, it still took a while to get the right meds to help.Currently I take methotrexate,Naprosyn, Lortab, and enbrel. I did take prednisone for a few months(I started at 20mg per day for a week.)I thought it worked wonders for the pain,although it also helped me pack on 30 lbs. real easy. I also have 3 kids, ages 10,8, and 3. I felt so helpless. It was all I could do to throw a load of clothes into the washer! I didn't want to ask my husband much less my own mother to help me. I also had to be off work for a couple of months until I could get the RA a little under control. My husband was injured at work about 3 years ago and hasn't worked since so I had no choice but to go back to work ASAP. My boss's wife also has RA so I at least lucked out and he's pretty understanding! (I am a cashier at a grocery store) I wish I could hug you and tell you it'll get better! I've learned to tolerate the pain somewhat. If you have friends/ relatives near you, have them look up this website. It might help them understand a little of what you're going through. I don't think anyone can quite understand unless they have a chronic illness. Best wishes to you! This is an awesome website! I read it often! Tammy

namanan

4/28/09 5:01pm

i too am a relative newbie to r.a. i have a grand daughter ive never held because i was afraid i would drop her. im 57 and was diagnosed 1 1/2 yrs ago. i am taking methotrexate, folic acid, prednisone, and enbrel. a year ago i was basically bedridden. it took a half hour to get the nerve up to walk to the bathroom. i can get up and get to the bathroom with minimal problems, drive my car, go up and down 3 steps (in and out of the house), but am having problems doing household chores. i have agility in my hands so i can type, but no strength. my blind husband has taken over the laundry, the dishes, cleaning, and cooking. but i hate that i cant do like i used to. i feel like a real dork when i need help getting dressed and i feel like a burden when it comes to being a help mate for my husband. i thank God he is a loving caring person, but there are times i know he feels put upon. i can get him to his appts, its a kind of give and take proposition for us both. oh, we are retiring my daycare business at the end of this year. the 5 year old is going to be in school next september and he is the last of the last. we just cant do it anymore. but sweetie i loved the advice about being mt. mommy. we all just have to learn to adapt, improvise, and overcome. if that slogan is good enough for the marines, its good enough for me. lol. hang in there and dont let this nasty stuff get you down because im not going to !!! remember: attitude it half the battle.

Christie Curtis

5/ 2/09 9:35am

I am with you. I was just diagnosed but am already needing help around the house. I walk with a limp and can't use my right hand for lifting, cutting my food or squeezing a toothpaste. My elbows can't handle me carrying anything heavy. My familly is freaked out and my husband is scared of me. My kids are supportive I have 3, 15 11 and 9 so they are older and can do things on their own which is a big help. I have'nt told my boss and I don't know what to do about work. I work in retail and most of my job is office work but when we are busy and they need cashiers I go. Putting peoples merchandise in bags is getting so hard for me. I do it with a smile and move on but inside I am screaming in so much pain. I then go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out, grab some make up and go back to work. I get up in the morning in so much pain I cry in the shower. My doctor told me there are so many new drugs out there I should be fine. But after reading so many stories I am really scared. I was just put on prednisone for the swelling and go back in 1 week to go over my options to start the other drugs. It's scary and it feels so lonely. Keep reaching out for someone to talk to. I am finding this does help.

Take care,

Christie

Lucy

5/ 9/09 1:25pm

I am so sorry to hear about the trouble you've been having. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago at age 27. The first year for me was really hard, as my RA was not under control and I was not happy with my Doctor. In general, I felt like my life was over...pain everyday, tired, unhappy, couldn't walk, cook or do anything I had always loved. I switched Rheumatologists about 6 months in. The Dr. I have now is wonderful and very aggressive with treatment. About 6 months after that with some playing around with meds, we were able to find a combo of drugs that worked for me. Then, the symptoms got under control, I felt way less pain, I was happy and even had tons more energy. Many of the drugs take a while to kick in, but get a good Rheumatologist (one that will really listen to what you're saying), and don't be afraid to take strong drugs if that is what he/she recommends. I feel like I have my life back again. It will always be a struggle, however, I don't feel like I did that first year anymore and I am willing to take what will come at me in the future. I don't know if this helps, but good luck, hang in there, and find a really good dr...it makes all the difference.

YBS21

5/16/09 10:33pm

I must say that you have done one of the best things you could do with a chronic illness and that is to get support from others going through the pain and frustrations that only we can know. At 20 years old, I was diagnosed with RA. My confusion, stress, and pain seemed unbearable. I had to leave school, work, and basically put my life on hold. However, its been one year since I was diagnosed and I am doing much better. I found one of the best rheumatologist in my area and he's been treating me for about six months now. There are good days and bad days. Sometimes more bad days than good days. When this happens, rest is truly the only way to go. Educating yourself and listening to your body is critical. Accepting help and becoming dependent upon others is hard but it is very necessary in order for you to feel better. Things look gloomy right now but know there are so many of us cheering you on and we know that you'll find the strength to live with this. Believe me, your life isn't ruined, it's just been slightly altered :)

The following letters helped me so much! Hope it can do the same for you!

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/2007/08/sick_humor_a_letter_from_your.php

Sarahrenee111

5/17/09 10:24am

I haven't looked at this site in awhile, because I have started back at work, as a hostess, no more waiting tables. My body seems to be doing much better, due to rest, not working, less stress. My doc gave up on me, haven't found a rheumatolosist yet..but, my insurance doesn't support one anyway. I gave up on the prednisone, didn't help, but eating better I think has done wonders.

So ,I'm taking this one day at a time!

I feel great, I'm happy...kinda broke, but I have to suck it up, work, pay the bills I ignored last month...live one day at a time.

Thanks for the support guys!

Sandrine

2/14/10 11:01am

Hello everyone. Just dropping in nice site. Help me! Looking for sites on: Pyrantelum vermox. I found only this - pyrantel vermox. One clinical mineral of anatrichosoma disease, vermox. These clumps become to the taeniidae, vermox. With best wishes :mad:, Sandrine from Uganda.

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