I survived the PTA training weekend - sort of!  Managed to fulfill most of my responsibilities. Did see (via being the host!) a fantastic workshop by Dr. Edward Sullivan on "educating the whole child".  He had been the speaker at one of our local conferences a year or so ago, and this was lightyears beyond that, having put into practice what he discussed at that time. Very exciting! 

    Re; RA: It's hard to be observing so much good stuff and yet not really being able to use it, apply it, participate in it, due to the consuming affair of RA.  I'm back to taking my full quota of Enbrel, yet not back to my whole self (speaking of the whole person...)  Part of me says, (just now while I'm writing you) that there is a connection I should make by applying the communication/education principles I'm seeing other people use in their jobs, to my life and communicating the "RA Experience" to others.  I feel I talk about it much too much (because a lot of the time, I can't "do anything" without being constantly aware of what meds I'm taking and/or mixing.  I don't want to sound like a constant complainer/whiner, but I'm not one that can pretend things are fine and always put on a happy face. I'm just not that good an actor!  (Either that, or, I'm such a good 'happy facer' that now that things are bad or at least getting worse, there's just no additional acting capacity left!  I think I'm more likely to do myself in from too many meds than direct illness.  But - one does the best one can. I feel bad that my husband has to constantly deal with my 'stream of consciousness' of pain, medication, efforts, tasks, but I just don't have a whole lot of mental space outside of that right now.  Yet - I accomplished a lot this morning (had tons of paperwork to do ranging from insurance to PTA reports) and I feel good about that - and I held off on some pain meds until lunch, not wanting to take too many different things at once -

Did I mention that my cat bit me the morning before I left, breaking the skin for the first time, so I had to call to get antibiotics in a hurry before I left town?  and then, my doctor, erring on the side of caution, gave me the max dose, which almost made me sick 2 days later?  (Maybe HE forgot about my liver...) BUT - at least I DIDN't get an anxiety attack which has happened a few times with meds related to this one.  I willed myself not to .... instead I got lightheaded - progressing to severe nausea, loose stools.  Finally I looked up the dosage and reverted to the standard dose by adjusting the schedule so it would even out.  It worked (and will leave me some extra in case of emergency at some future date...).  I'll write him a note, maybe that will help next time something similar happens.  Thankfully, I had brought all the meds with me that I might need.  Also found out that, due to changes in the state PTA structure, I will not have to attend some of the marathon meetings in the future (I'm talkin' 3-4 hour meetings - really!  Just not healthy.  But - they do understand when people get up, get food, (me: go for a walk to get moving again!), and tune out now and then.  Which I most definitely had to do!