Wrist fusion: mourning the past, anticipating the future

Hey - I'm sitting at my computer weeping for the wrist I'm about to lose (as a joint, that is ... my former chiropractor once said to me, "Don't let anyone talk you into having your wrist fused."  Well, guess what?  I talked the surgeon into it.  I'm scheduled for the wrist fusion on June 23rd, a lot earlier than I expected, but the date was the first one available, and amazing fit into between my husband's travel in June and our vacation in July (yeah, I'll still have a cast or splint on), and won't interfere much with work at that time (2 weeks off minimum).  So - no reason to wait.  I have to pay so much attention to how I do everything, even though 2 months ago, I subbed for a Sunday organist (played with my wrist straight), and 3 weeks ago I played guitar for a triple baptism (really- again, played with my wrist straight, and just made it through the 3 songs and my left wrist was more tired than the right). 

    But I am tired of what I CAN'T do without excruciating pain.  And, I've had to stop taking Celebrex, so I have no back-up for what my Enbrel shots don't take care of, except Tylenol (which is a whole lot better than nothing, despite what some people say), and when desperate, Percocet left over from surgery last year.  (I just can't deal with a lot of meds - thank God for meditation and Tai Chi!  Puts me in an amazingly positive state of mind, off pain)   I want to be able to help my husband fix things around the house.  I want to be able to saw off a small branch while pruning a tree.  I want to take some stress off my left hand from carrying all the heavy stuff.  So - that's where I'm at. 

     I actually feel really happy that I can get along without Celebrex - it was really starting to give me stomach pain, and I didn't want any ulcers.  Celebrex seems to be the best of the bunch, but eventually even the best runs the risk over time of causing serious problems.  But it's going to be an *interesting* two weeks starting next week when I stop the Enbrel before surgery, and stay off until the incision heals. 

     Last year the surgeon said I'd be happier with a wrist replacement, that "people are happier with the replacement, even if they have problems."  Well, that surgeon is 3 hours away, and if I start having an infection, or the implant becomes loose, I could lose days of work, aggravate the heck out of my co-workers/supervisors, and then end up with a fusion anyway.  So - since I've been operating with mostly a stiff/painful/mostly straight wrist anyway, I'm just heading for the finish line, helping my wrist do what it's doing anyway - fusing.  Three other doctors, in response to my question about the best/safest bet was: fusion.  My PCP said, "motion will lead to inflammation."  Another hand surgeon (who, I think trained the one I'm going to) said, "You can do either, maybe wait a few years, but the fusion is less likely to have problems.  But you can do the replacement, and still have the fusion later."  And my rheumatologist, who normally brushes off problems (with medication especially), seemed very concerned when I talked about either (he thinks medication is the best bet, that most people won't need the amount of surgery they used to).  He recommended the fusion because "metal attracts infection in the body."  and while a fusion requires a metal plate to hold the wrist rigid while the bones fuse, eventually it can be taken out, if necessary - unlike a wrist replacement, where a metal post is inserted into the radius bone in the forearm, and a plate of some kind screwed into the carpal or metacarpal bones.