I guess I am lucky after all. Yesterday I talked to my aunt. She has suffered with Ra for over 30 years. Her whole body is twisted up and she had to deal with the pain with just aspirin. They did not have the medicine or the awareness that we have now. She is now on meds has been since they started coming out with them.She has to switch around alot because her body builds up an immunity to them after awhile. She has never complained that I remember. If someone needs help she is always the first to offer help. Several years ago my grandparents were unable to take care of themselves she stepped in took care of them and all their stuff. when my grandfather died she was the one who handled everything. She has a terrific husband that is always there for her in every way. Has been for over 40 years. My family is very scattered and she always tries to get everyone together. She wants to get as many of us together for Thanksgiving as possible. So we talked yesterday. She always worries about me and she always asks about my RA and how I am doing and coping. I  lied yesterday and told her I was on my meds. She sounded so relieved to hear that I was back on them that i did not feel bad for lying. when my husband got home I let him know that i lied to her and he had to stick with it when we talked to her. It would really hurt my aunt to know I lied to her. My sweet husband the turd threatened to call her right then and tell her unless i made an appt and really did get back on the meds. When I told him that we could not afford it he got out our checkbook and bank statements all of our bills and budget and cut things and rearranged things till i was confident we could do it. I also found out that this weekend I left the website up as I went to bed and he was reading some of the share post and he said hearing (reading) other peoples stories and then doing his own research helped him understand what I was going through with RA more than me just talking to him. He also said I minimalized what i was going thru that he did not relize the just what a struggle simple things could be. So now thanks to my husband I am going to be back on my meds after 3 years without and I am so looking forward to it. I am having a very good day and feel like I can accomplish alot more today than I have in a long time. And it proves sometimes people care and support you more than you think they do.