stepping outside the box

Wouldn't it be nice to be "normal" again?  I think we all walk around like there isnothing wrong.  What else can we do, most people wouldn't believe us if we told them how much it hurt anyway.  And its better than the alternative, my mother acts as if I am dying and looks at me with pity,all the time.  I can't get away from it.  All the dr appts.for the ra and then the ones to fix the side effects fromthe meds for ra.  It seems like it never ends.  "normal" seems like a lifetime away.  So whats left to do?  Grin and bear it and hope there is someone you can talk to.  Hopefully you will find that you can speak to someone openly.

Congratulations LeighAnn. Sadly you have just joined a very difficult group. Those of us living in pain, under doctors supervision and trying not to burden the rest of the world with it and trying to keep it from taking over our "normal" lives. It's not an easy group to belong to. Luckily we have a support group here. I applaud your decision to try to loose the weight. I wish I would take on that committment. Don't let your bad days totally derail you. I do constantly, to the point that I say I'll do it tomorrow. No, tomorrow never comes. I know this sounds tounge in cheek. It's not meant to. The strength I hear from you is giving me new hope for next week when I get my latest test results.

Hi friend - if you have learned all of that in one year, you are one smart cookie!  It's a hard lesson and I think it takes most of us longer to learn all that you have mentioned.  That "stream of consciousness" really rings true to me, too.  Maybe you should consider blogging ...  Trouble with me is, when I'm thinking along the exact kind of thought you express, I can't detach and write about it at the same time ... I really enjoyed reading what you wrote - not that I enjoyed what you were feeling, but I really identified with it.   Thank You!

P.S.  Though it's not a "happy anniversary" you can congratulate yourself on reaching it!

That's a great post!  it can be so hard to get to the point where you're not pretending that you're fine. I did it for years and eventually realized just how much energy it takes to pretend you're okay when you're not. Honesty is great - not only does it leave you with the energy you need to do other things, but you'll start getting more understanding from the people around you when you're honest about having a bad day. Of course, such honesty doesn't mean you have to spend half an hour telling them in detail just how much it sucks (unless they ask or with people who get it, like the users here), but being honest with others also helps you to be honest with yourself.  I wrote a post a while ago about this honesty and fighting yourself instead of working with your body and you can read that here.

If you're interested in losing weight, I recommend you check out a couple of posts we did about diet and exercise up with RA - they may be helpful to you.

Thanks again for sharing your story.