When things in my life have seemed to be going the roughest, I've always believed that the fact was most all of us had to pay dues of some sort, eventually, for the experience of just being. Rather like, Hey! Number #87012040, step forward please and accept your lot. Feeling also that "somedays, would be diamonds; somedays would be stones thing", ebb and flow. However, for anyone of us being dropped in our tracks by the RA bomb, that day is surely all 'stones'. Dues should be paid in full. My views on life had changed after my H-A five years ago. I realized I wasn't even middle-aged any longer and that my parts were starting to wear out. Thought I would just have to work with whatever good there was that I had left and deal with it. But, having always been pretty much a Type A, 'don't stop til' you drop' sorta female, the thought of me reeeally slowing down for long? Hmmm ..seemed not too realistic. Being able to rise to the call of the needed task has been something I've always taken for granted. Shame on me. Maybe I shouldn't have. As my RA progresses a new reality is setting in. The more I understand about RA the clearer it's becoming that this is a life-altering disease. Even many serious other diseases afflicting people are often curable. Disease drugs and treatments are centered on an eventual cure. This 'no way out' realization for we, the RA afflicted comes hard. We have powerful drugs we are freely prescribed ..but even when we put our bodies yet at further risk, we can't walk away RA free. As for the probability of being prescribed these powerful RA drugs, for me and others whom have survived heart-attacks, it may or may not even be an option; may be conflicting because of our current meds. I don't know. Pills can be a blessing and/or a curse. I want to be strong enough to hold out for a while longer before I yield to them. *I have four stents in my chest from the H-A in 2003. May conflict with my other meds. As to my RA, as of yet, I have only moderately swollen joints. However, I clearly have all of the other traits/symptoms associated with the disease, other than the fact that my pain is still at a more managable level than so many others I'm reading about here, even with my using less intense drugs, *Nsaids. My factor was *36? Doc said he had little, if any doubt that I did have RA. I'm not claiming I'm painless, ..I wish, but, I'm not so bad as rocking back and forth in my bed, crying aloud through the night yet either. So sad to imagine others pain. I'm trying to brace myself for the intensity that RA seems to eventually bring. After reading the words of others I doubt if it's possible to ready one's self for that. Some days, weeks, not so bad, then sometimes really lousy. I suppose I was going through 'flares.' Even after my PCP informed me of the news of RA, I had no idea whatsoever, what it was about. Only now, am I finally beginning to realize and grasp it's intent and direction. All that being said and done; God grant mercy on us all. In sharing something other about me ... What am I about? I'm about animal care and rescue. We've (hubby, adult son and myself) rescued 20, yes, 20, lost or abandoned felines we deeply care about and five abused/abandoned doggies. All our much-loved pets have now been spayed/neutered, immunized and had vet care. Five cats enjoy our actual home with us, everyone else has comfortable ac/heated shelters and runs to enjoy. After losing three precious kitty kids to wild dog pack attacks, none of our felines will be free to run anymore. Just can't bear that heartache again. None of our pets seem anything other then happy to be here with us. None seem to try to get 'free.' We certainly are not wealthy people but we're fortunate to have have eight acres of land to share. Somehow we always meet the needs of these wonderful critters that happened to merge with our own lives. We do realize however, that we have finally reached our limit concerning time and resources. The Inn is now full. Sadly. It seems not totally unlike a horse ranch here at times because of the daily chores to be done, ie: grooming (fur-brushing), flea and tick treatments, various diets meted out to meet different tastes, hairball barf to clean up, laundry of bedding, fourteen litter boxes to keep decent, yikes, etc, etc.! And, time to spend with each group of animals so that we remain bonded; not just gatekeepers. Our cherished Joey, one-year old kitty with a chronic asthma condition must be given nebulizing, and aerokat breathing treatments once or twice daily. Then, of course there's our dogs. Amazing 'Grace' is a German Shepherd; 'Hunter' is a sparky little French Bulldog and our son's three, that are sweet raggy-furred 'mutts.' You'd be correct in saying "Our lives have indeed, gone 'to the dogs' ..and cats!" If eventually the time comes that I have the option or feel that I HAVE to swallow down powerful pills, I hope to still be able to drag myself around to each shelter to spend time with these adopted kidz of ours. I'll sign up to get a little red 'scooter-chair' and then putt around the 'ranch' to get the job done. We shall see what lies ahead.