The Adventure that is my life

By Gizelle Beverland Sunday, March 09, 2008

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Hello new friends. I have RA i was diagnoed in July of 2006 i am learning all i can about it and trying not to fall in a deep depression in the process..

The hardest thing about this is the friends i have lost as a part of my changing life.. they have fallen by the wayside left and right and i have always been so social i dont know what to do with myself now.. my mom would tell me "they were not your real freinds anyway" and she is right, but in that same breath do I really have real freinds? people who would care less that my hands always hurt, that my body moves slower than it use it. and i cant clean up after the big party like i used to?

life is forever changed forme.. i guess i never did do well with change.. But Im learning

Being Christian with RA

Comments (5) | Add comment

Hollybgroovin, Health Guide

3/ 9/08 8:35pm

Gizelle, learning is the a great step and one that I think you continue to do through out the course of this disease. I am 28 years old and have lost all but one of my friends, and it is very depressing. I was/am out going as well and used to be the life of the party. It took me a while to learn how to throw my outgoing personallity into life with this disease. But it will happen if you don't give up. I now go out with my friend whenever I am invited even when I have to use my cane or my walker and we laugh it up for hours. Sometimes I feel like I am in highschool again trying to figure out where I fit in and it's hard. Learn all you can and in the meantime don't be suprised that you learn a lot about yourself in the process. You may just learn that you are still that outgoing person. Keep your head up, we are all here for you when you need support, or just want to vent. Good luck and best wishes!

Gizelle Beverland

3/10/08 2:12am

Thank you for your words. I am trying not to lose that part of me that I have always loved being.. I know you will understand i am at that point in this that i hurt myself to keep being the old me.. I have got to learn how to incorporate this new part of me in to the old me. I have decided it is all about quality, and not quanity. This is hard because i am not one that is in to any intamate gatherings.. up till this last Christmas all my holiday gatherings are HUGE, and wild I have read a few of your posts and i can relate to so many things.. This hit me so fast.. no wondering about what i had I didnt get symptoms till May and by my MRI of my hand in July i had very noticable dammage in my hands. I hear people say "i wondered about what was wrong with me for 2 years" or more, they wondered. not me i woke up after emergency surgery on a gall bladder they thought stopped working and was causing my liver to become toxic to find everything swollen and nothing worked my fingers would stick open or close and that was it. May 6th i had surgery May 8th i had RA.. (by the way my pathology came back on my gall bladder as normal)

Grateful Mama

3/12/08 9:43pm

hi i myself was diagnosed in 2006 after my first daughter was born and it has been a struggle for me too. I now have 3 kids and most of the time i feel like i am alone in tryoing to describe the way i feel about it all to my family. all my friends just pretend like there is nothing wrong it is just their way of dealing i guess. But what it comes down to is i know where you are coming from and sometimes it seems like everything is changing too fast but it is our life and it is very precious so spend it with people who make you feel alive and just remember" Everything is gonna be alright" Grin

Hope ya smile!

Gizelle Beverland

3/13/08 2:06am

OH Thank you sweetie for your wonderful words. INternally i know everything is going to be ok. i just have to put it out there where the people that love me can see it. when i was first diagnosed i flipped out telling everyone in my family (hubby and kids) not to tell anyone , i didnt want anyone to know, because i knew this was what was going to come about, but when no one knew i found myself saying yes to things i know i shouldnt do just to make people think i was ok.. I was real bad at saying no and did everything for everyone. i ended up haveing tell people because they thought i was just being rude. now they think i am a bad lier too UGGG

But who cares the people who matter are in this house, with me.. OH i love my husband and kids SOOOO much!

Grateful Mama

3/15/08 1:53pm

it is sooo awesome to have family!! i thank god we are lucky to have that i couldn't imagine having no family and going through all of this... it takes a tough cookie that is for sure! all of you rock!! thanx for makin me feel at home!

The Adventure that is my life

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