15 months since I started symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis, and one year since i was diagnosed. I thought the longer I had to deal with this. The easier it would get.
Wow, I was so wrong. Well I guess some things have gotten easier. I remember my medication better than i did at first. and I don't cry anymore when i know i have to have a shot that day (ok so i whine a little, but it's Humira anyone would!)
All in all it is just as hard to admit to myself that I am sick. That i have limmitations, that there is a good chance I will never have something that feels like remission, and the meds only slow it, not stop it. I am still shocked at the pure ignorance of the people around me. that they will jump at the chance to undiagnose me because I have a good day. or because I hide things well. I feel like I hold a secret, and I am always gaurding it from the world.
I have learned a few things however.
First off to enjoy every moment I feel good because those moments with my kids are so perfect and sweet. I found that if i fix frozen meals or Pizza for dinner. I am not a bad mom, in fact they think i am pretty cool. I now know that when my husband and i said for better or worse. He really did mean the worse part because he is still here and he is still helping.
Who knows what I will write in one year, two years, five, or even ten, But whatever comes I will be ready. and waiting.
I was diagnosed last year in August, sufferred 3 months prior with nsaids in the U.S without a diagonosis and always feeling worse each day. Your timeline of this disease is the same as mine. I was diagnosed out here in Switzerland ... new job, country, away from everything personal in my life since August 1st 2007. 49 at the time and surely out of my prime, RA got the best of me. I finally got a diagnose from my Swiss DR. who specializes in RA and also Sports Medicine. After one week of Sulfur meds we quickly learned that I was alergic to the drug. Now being in worse shape than ever ... he told me that Enbrel will make me feel better immediately. He was right. I think it only took two days and I was able to walk without serious pain. My neck was able to turn and most importantly I was less depressed. I have been self-injecting once a week for a year now. I started to work out in a gym soon after taking the drug, strenghtening my flabby body to muscle. Now I am back to running up hills and can run three miles at a time on a cushiony outdoor track. I have to stop and rest my feet, ankles after about 6 laps but then I am back and running again. I am not 100 per cent but I am moving as well as when I was 10 years younger. Sitting or laying down too long hurts ... so I am constantly getting up to move and circulating, stretching everywhere that is feeling stiff and throbby. I have got RA but I am trying to stay ahead of the crippling affects. The exercize routine is a part of my life ... keeps me sane and the weight off my joints. I lift weights so that in a pinch I can lift myself up from a sitting position. Getting scared though because in two weeks my doctor will make a decision on the Enbrel. He felt that a year would do it for me ... I know I am still stricken by this disease and I don't ever want to feel like I did one year ago. I have to continue thinking positive ... having RA has changed me. Keeping my head up is vital, it is the only way to survive.