Just begining

I was dianosed with RA in January of this year when I went to the Rhumatologist everyone had been telling me that I was just stressed out and needed a vacation or to slow down untill one morning I woke with so much pain in my leg that I could hardly walk and could only do a small task without having to sit and rest. Im only just begining to understand that this is way more than just stress or burnout major. A onetime dose of some mirical drug and your done isn't the way that this is going to be. I'm very scared and angry as to what the future will hold for me I'm only Forty meaning-I just finished a Bachlor Degree I want to work and explore career options; I still have four children at home two of my own and two grandchildren that I am raising and I find myself getting so exhausted all the time I don't want to do anything but sleep. I recently stopped taking the MTX when it seemed to only make the fatigue worse and I would lose days to sleeping and just laying around - but after studing this disease further it seems that is part of the course of the illness not so much the side effects. I feel overwhelmed that I seem to get sick at the drop of a hat, I'm not albe to be the kind of mom that I want to be, I'm not keeping up with my housework like I would like, and I worry about needing someone to take care of me if this continues to get worse. I'm sorry I guess this is the first time that I have started to let out some of my feelings and fears about this. I just don't really have anyone to vent too, reading some of your stories I think what am I whinning about it could be so much worse than it is.