I too went through a rough spell after diagnosis and symptom changes. You do lose a part of who you want to be and what you have to settle for. I fight with that feeling quite often. I am currently dealing with disease progression, my symptoms worsening and a great fear for my future ability to be a productive person. It can be really hard to think about your future and to give up the things, hobbies, activities that you love. You just never know what tomorrow holds for you with ra and the loss of control over your life is devastating. How can you not feel some level of helplessness?
I've had both depression and anxiety throughout my "career" with RA. The depression comes and goes depending on my circumstances — when I'm not doing well, it's very much part of my life. Which, I think, is very normal. The anxiety is fairly permanent. Living with a disease that's highly unpredictable makes that normal, too. Both anxiety and depression of a lot to do with not feeling in control and if there's something that RA does, it's taking away control.
I've had counseling several times throughout my life and the most effective was cognitive behavioral therapy — it teaches you to think differently about your disease. I've also found mindfulness practice and meditation to be very helpful.
Just some thoughts....yes, I have anxiety and depression, but have realized it is frustration, too, at loss of doing things I want and used to do. I also wonder if any pre-RA diagnosis anxiety/depression was due to the RA I did not know I had. I mean, for a long time I was limited and in pain, and physicians inferred it was all due to depression, anxiety, in my head, part of menopause, etc. A friend is now going thru tge same thing and I thank God she found a doctor who listens!
What a good post! I know that I had my moments after my diagnosis and perhaps even before. It is after all a life changing diagnosis. It can be hard to wrap your head around.
My rheumy has me complete a one page form that assesses how I am doing in a lot of different areas. I honestly don't recall if there are questions about mood. I'll have to check - I'm going tomorrow so I'll try to remember to let you know.