MyRACentral and several other HealthCentral communities are marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month by posting information and personal stories about the issue and how it relates to those living with chronic illness. Posts will be added to our special Domestic Violence Awareness Month page throughout October. We are thrilled to include this post by Karen Ager, author of Enemy Within: A Memoir of Strength, Determination and Acceptance.

The Facts:
• Disabled women have the highest rate of being victims of personal violence of any group in society today.
• Disabled women are twice as likely to be victims of domestic violence.
• Disabled women often experience a prolonged cycle of abuse and suffer more severe injuries because their caregiver is often the abuser.
• Disabled women have difficulty accessing and receiving services.
• October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

In my book Enemy Within - A Memoir of Strength, Determination and Acceptance, I write about my own experience with domestic violence at the hands of my boyfriend Geoff. I was: 19 years old. My abuser had repeatedly told me that I was ‘damaged goods' and I believed him. He'd used my disability to taunt me. I was scared no one else would love me so I had delayed my decision to leave him. The following is an excerpt from pp.35-36:

"Suddenly, I was part of the battered woman cliché. I played the role beautifully and chose to go on being with my abuser. That was a disaster, but there was worse to come. The hours after the attack are still a blur in my mind. I was aware I was questioned by the police and that I was taken to hospital. It was 1.30 a.m. ......

I spent time in the hospital's intensive care unit after the doctors wired my
jaws shut, but have little memory of it; I was void of emotion. My spirit and
teenage innocence had been bashed out of me and I knew it. RA was taking my body and the assault had taken my heart. The girl who arrived home was a mere shadow of the girl who had so happily gone off to party the previous Friday night. I had black eyes, a bruised and bloated face and a mouth I couldn't open. I couldn't eat, sleep or speak. Nor, unbelievably, could I be reasoned with. Alone amongst family and friends, I clung to the fiction of assault by anonymous partygoers and parroted Geoff's, alibi.

---

Though I didn't understand the side effects of my disease, RA had already ‘mentally disabled' me and I'd become trapped in my relationship with Geoff because of my disability. RA had prolonged my abuse. Though I saved him from a jail sentence, Geoff's final punishment underlined the seriousness with which the courts viewed his actions. He was given a criminal conviction, a 12-month probation order to stay away from me and an order to stay out of the state in which I lived for three years. The stress of this mess precipitated a full-scale battle with my disease. It picked up speed to advance fearlessly in its quest to overcome me. The cortisone injections in my shoulders and knees were powerful weapons in this war, but the relief was short and it was never very long before the next army of attackers marched towards the front-line.