Depression-Is there light out there?

I am beginning to wonder if my thyroid isnt a main culprit in so many of my problems. Lately, i am so depressed i can't see the light of day, and to be honest I DONT REALLY CARE. I cry at the drop of a hat, or realizing that I have no PASSION for anything in life. I wonder if people with children have it better because they have a reason to live. Even though I am newly married, we have no kids and to be honest death looks so good lately. All i think about is dying and how better off everyone would be including myself. Its like I have no control over anything and just going through the  motions to pay the bills is not enough to keep me around. I dont know when I lost my zest for life, but i know i have lost it, and how to get it back, i dont know how, and right now dont even care. I am just so done with everything. But i wonder if the combination of meds, and the war within my body is the blame???? If the meds are the problem or the thyroid, how do I overcome it with pure will, which i have none at this time. Sorry to be so blatent about this but i just cant get past this and talking to my husband turns into oh baby it will be alright, what can i do? My answer is NOTHING just leave me alone and let me wallow. Does anyone else get this dark and dreaded or am i just being a wimp? I think of so many things when i am depressed, and now i have stopped taking all my meds. What can I be in control of? God I am so tired of all of this already, how do you all get to the hope in this dreadful disease and when does that kick in? How do you DEAL?  Well thanks for letting me vent.

Laurie