hey peapops  dont let the bad guys get you down.  5 yrs ago my husband lost his job and along with it insurance.  we were living on $700 a month from a 50% service connected disability.  he has diabetes from exposure to agent orange in vietnam.  the reason he lost his job was because he is going blind from the diabetes.  we couldnt make the house payments or the car payments.  and we surely didnt have money for the meds we were on.  to make matters worse, the stress threw me into a heartattack.  what a fun time it was.  my hospital bill ran $30,000 and it may as well been a million  cause there was no way i  could pay either amount.  if it hadnt been for our faith, we would have thrown in the towel.  we had already signed up my husband with the v.a. for his medical needs and meds, so he was taken care of.  i on the other hand had nothing in the way of health care. i was given a beautiful case worker that helped us with the med bills and with food stamps.  from february to august we were in a tizzy waiting to hear from the v.a. about additional compensation for my husband.  august was the winning month.  they upped my husband to 100% disabled.  they paid us  back pay to when we first applied.  we were able to catch up on the house and the car saving both for us.  i havent had anymore heart attacks. thank God, but was stricken with this pesky r.a. a year ago at the age of 56.  do you ever get the feeling that life just isnt with you at all times?? and that stress is just around the corner??  well thats me.  i am the primary (and only) driver.  i am the one responsible for driving us to our appts. and with this lovely cold winter, im feeling less and less like getting out, but i am moving once again.  last winter i was confined mostly to bed.  but i made myself get up and drive the car.  we had to work as a team to get the car going.  he buckled me in and turned the key in the ignition because my hands wouldnt let me do either function.  i used my wrist to hook up with the stick on the column to pull it forward and drop it into gear (thank God it is an automatic), and drove with claw hands.  this year is sooo different. im taking prednisone, methotrexate, enbrel, and folic acid.  the combo seems to be working fairly well, but im still not up to par.  once a month we load up in the car and go pay bills.  i sit in the car while hubby runs into the places and takes care of the payments.  i come home and im exhausted from what seems to be so little.  but as ive said before, faith has sustained us through all that we are going through. hang in there hon.  i pray that things look up soon for you too. 

peapops

2/ 5/09 10:17pm

thank you for your reply. I usually am not one to share my bad luck but that day and serveral after and before were just more than i could handle. but as i read your story i thank God for being so good. As you said faith gets us though.  Although we don't have the money i went and got my hair cut and a new blouse .79 took a shower and went job hunting.  I was hired part time. and the good thing is it is only 2 miles from home. i am now a personal aid in an adult home.Only God knows how many hours a week i'll be given but at least getting out and doing for others helps. May God be with you.

namanan

2/ 7/09 1:00pm

hey peapops  sometimes we just gotta spew or explode!!  lol  believe me i did my share of spewing too.  obviously i wasnt dealing with our situation well  or i wouldnt have had the heart attack.   im so glad youve got a job in the home health care industry!  my husband i both worked for a hospital in our town (thats how we met).   helping others and seeing what they are going through sometimes helps to minimize some of our own problems.  my father in law,  a small town physician, always said  look around and you can always find someone in worse shape than you are.  he was right!  we couldnt compare to some of these poor souls.  we werent trying out for the best pity party in town,  just looking and counting our blessings that we werent going through their trials and tribulations.  but God never puts upon you what you arent strong enough to deal with. im sure some of the people we were looking at were thinking  thank God we arent going through what they are enduring.  its all a matter of perspective and how we choose to deal with it.  since acquiring r.a.  ive had a couple of my own pity parties  unfortunately (or fortunately) no chose to come to my parties.  i have found that if i find something funny about my sitution, i tell the story in an amusing way, i have lots of people willing to hang with me and help me through what ever it is we are going through at the time.  when we found out my husband was going blind,  i told him that it had its upside.  he asked  what is that?   i told him  when im old, wrinkly, and pruney i will remain forever young in his mind.  that yanked him right out of his pity party.  lol  if you can laugh about it,  you have survived it!!  dont let anyone or anything drag you down.  we belong to a couple of blind groups and i have been taking the lessons learned there and applying them to my situation.  do you have a support group in your area run by the arthritis foundation??  a support group that deals with disabilities is pretty much covering the same territory (if they are a good group)  we dont call ours  "support" groups, but rather self help groups.  its through the self help that comes the support  not so much the other way.  hope i dont sound like im rambling, but im trying to condense several lessons learned along the way, into something short and sweet, to help you cope.  if you want to talk,  im here to listen  God bless you and yours!  namanan