I had friends who put a hand on my shoulder that caused me to cry out in pain, so they now try to avoid touching me at all. It's hard for them to know what will hurt and what will not. I think I need to tell them how to be gentle and what joints to avoid alltogether (that dang shoulder!). That shoulder has made hugs painful too - they need to be more gentle and I have to admit that at my worst I just tried to avoid contact. At least since the humira has kicked in I can shake hands without tears! I couldn't believe how painful that was or how difficult it was to avoid in a business setting. I still try to minimize the hand shake to minimize my infection risk though!
I can do handshakes most of the time — or rather, my hand just sort of lies there like a dead fish.most people get it, but some still do the crushing handshake. After one too many of those, I've learned to sort of wave at people instead.
Isn't it amazing that little changes that happen every day when a medication works? Would you be willing at some point to write a post about how things have changed in your life after Humira? We get a lot of posts about problems and having a success story would be a really hopeful thing for our community.
I could do that - you're right, I tend to write when I have problems and lots of what anyone reads here or on any participation site is a LOT of problems. But improvement and help and hope is out there - things CAN get better. I don't think that even with the best results this is a disease to be sneezed at, ;-), but I know in my case the meds have certainly improved my life. Even if you can't get remission, at 50% reduction in disease activity is huge. I'll give it some thought and make a list; I'm sure I can accomodate.
This article made me think...a lot. I realized that neither my husband's family, nor mine, are "touchers". They are not openly affectionate. Kind of strange because my DH and I are the opposite. Always have been. When we are walking somewhere, we just naturally hold hands. When Lloyd comes home from work, the first thing he does after laying down his day planner is to give me a hug. I should say, we give each other a hug. When he walks by me on the way to the kitchen for a snack he will ruffle my hair or kiss me on the forehead. We are always touching in some way. It is comforting. I just never thought of people not having that kind of a relationship until now. Thanks for the great article, Lene.
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Great reminder Lene. It is so easy for me to withdraw into my own little world of pain, build my wall and tell everyone I am fine so they won't worry or pitty me. Touch is such an important thing and feels so, so nice, why deprive ourselves from it. You are so right about those nerve ends being able to feel other things besides pain. Intimacy requires trust and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. I need to work on that.
Other ways to enjoy touch. How about going for a massage. I could sure use one of those. :)
massages are good. I haven't had one in the long time — my fibro doesn't like it. My partner sometimes puts his hands on my shoulders and leaves them there. It means instant relaxation for me.
thanks for your comment!