A Beginners Guide to RA: Being a Chronically Ill Parent

At the end of the day, being a good parent isn't about running down a hill or taking the stairs two at a time. Being a good parent is about unconditional love, patience, paying attention, talking to your children and teaching them how to become a kind, responsible human being. Becoming a role model who shows your kids that you can live with bad things and love and laugh anyway is a far better lesson than whether you can get the lid off the pickle jar. To your child, how your family works is normal and you are mommy or daddy, period. If a child has to crawl up on your lap themselves to get a hug instead of being lifted up, what's important about that moment is the hug, not how you got there.

Finding other people who share your experience can be a life- and sanity-saver in any situation and mothers seem to be better than most at flocking together for mutual support. One great website is Moms With RA, which contains all sorts of information on pregnancy, breast-feeding, insurance, meds, self-advocacy, resources and forums where members can discuss issues and offer direct support to each other.

Lastly, remember to take care of yourself. Parenting is a hard job that requires all the energy and wits you can muster and whether you have RA or not, it's important to eat right and get as much rest as you can manage to find (not an easy task with kids around). Being as healthy as possible helps you get perspective about what's important and what isn't and perspective is crucial to being the parent you want to be.

Background information for this post provided by Dawn Macaulay, Ph.D. and Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, I.B.C.L.C.

See also:

Beginner's Guide to RA: How to Dealth With Friends and Family

Begginer's Guide to RA: Love & The Horizontal Tango

You can read more of Lene's writing on The Seated View.