Will Be Compassionate & Resourceful
Having a chronic illness can be difficult and having a chronic illness that's unpredictable and painful can be a real drain on your emotional well-being and may create problems in personal relationships, employment, etc. A good doctor will understand this and will, by showing warmth and concern, create an environment in which you feel comfortable enough to talk about your fears and frustrations and safe enough to cry when things are really bad. And when you do, a good doctor will offer helpful tips and referrals -- e.g., to a counselor, occupational therapist, etc. -- if practical help will solve your problems or comfort and reassurance if that's what you need.
Has a Sense of Humor
Developing a sense of humor about your RA, its impact on your life and the reactions of other people can be one of the most effective ways of dealing with a chronic illness. Finding a doctor who is relaxed and human enough to bring humor into the consulting room (when appropriate) can go a long way towards creating an effective and trusting relationship between doctor and patient. Having an appointment where your doctor has listened to you, given you information, has shown you respect and had a laugh with you, will help you feel as if you and your doctor are on top of your disease, give you hope and help you remember that at the end of the day, there is still joy to be found.
If your first doctor doesn't meet your expectations of what a "good rheumatologist" should be, don't be afraid of getting a second opinion. If possible, interview a few alternatives. As in all relationships, it takes time and effort from both parties to build a good connection , but you should be able to tell fairly early on if she or he has potential. If you live in an area where your options to see another rheumatologist are limited, don't give up -- it's possible to "train" a doctor over time. Through good communication, subtle guidance and firm, but respectful sticking to your guns, almost any doctor can be taught.
You can read more of Lene's writing on The Seated View.
