New to RA

Kristina 1st I would like to say bless u for caring so much in wanting to help your mother-in-law.... Right now is gonna be the roughest time for her the best thing you can do is be a good support system 4 her. Understand when she is depressed, tired, scared and feeling alone. I am 34 years old and have had RA for 10 years. i would love to tell you its not gonna be so bad but I can't lie. She is gonna feel alone, I have had no sucess in treatments just when I think I found one that works it stops... I am not telling u this to scare u. I want you to understand she's the same person but it is gonna take her time to understand the disease herself. you can find many interesting sites on RA on the web that's what I did and so has my family. there is alot of research going on. One medication may work for joe but not for Mary. Just keep her moving. don't let her stop moving doing nothing will cripple her I've seen many people who just let it take over. One thing u can do is help her when she needs it but try not to smother her. When people help me I feel weak and embarrassed. My family for gifts have bought me many things that allow me to continue doing things and not having to rely on others for help... simple things like a can opener that once its on rotates around so my hands are free, a jar opener by black and decker that helps loosen jars. I wish you and your family all the love and blessings I can give and feel free if you need someone to talk to I'm here... bless you and keep your head up she's gonna need it... Drenda (phildren@yahoo.com)
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Kristina, my name is Holly and I am 28.  As far as medications go, feel free to ask us about our experiences with them anytime but everyone may have different side effects on the same medication.  You have taken a great first step by coming to this site.  It is important that you and your family have support as well as your mother-in-law because the road ahead of you could be very rough.  While no can know how this disease is going to affect your mother-in-law, I would be happy to share with you what helped me.  Treatment wise I have had no relief.  Some find relief immediately while others may not find relief at all and the doctors may try many different combinations of medications before she does find relief.   How is your mother-in-law handling all this right now?  When I was first diagnosed I was angry, depressed, and felt so alone.  I didn't want any help at all with anything, even if I wasn't able to do it myself, I still would try.  It's very hard to let go of the life you thought you were going to have and embrace the new one.  If she breaks plans, understand that it's not because of you.  Just be supportive, but don't push.  When she is ready to accept help she will let you know.  She is lucky to have someone like you who cares though, so keep it up.  If you ever have any questions at all feel free to ask.  We are all there or have been there before.  Best wishes and good luck!
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