Next stage.....acceptance?

hi Amy

glad to see you finally posted!  i was wondering what happened to you!  i can totally relate to you. even though it's been 5 months now (wow) since i was Dx, I've come to terms with this RA stuff.  I, too, used to dwell on it, 24-7.  i would lie awake at night (only because i hurt too bad to sleep)  and wonder what was gonna hurt the next day, and how bad was it going to be?  since my last drug combo is now working, RA is no longer on the forefront of my thoughts.  I remember thinking the first day i didn't think about RA, and it was midday and a light bulb came on, "hey, i didn't think about RA yet" .....it was then i realized i had made peace with my illness (wow, this is the first time i've even taken ownership of 'illness').  Of course the prednisone and plaquenil were instrumental in that because i wasn't in the horrible pain anymore.  i still have aches and pains now and again, but i'm back to doing almost everything, most importantly, riding my motorcycle without pain!  my husband still doesn't want to hear about anything to do with RA (whether it be victories or not).  if a commercial comes on TV for an RA drug, he changes the channel, (but i think to myself, "that's ok, it's MY problem,honey, not yours.")  and I'm ok with it.  I still hear the ''i have pain in my left finger every morning" from my dear coworker, but i'm ok with it.  i'm no longer angry or scared as I was in the beginning, and i can jump out of bed now without wincing in pain.  i can plan my life now 2 wks in advance because i know i probably won't hurt.  for that, i'm grateful.   Yup, I've got RA...and you know what?  I've accepted it and i'm gonna doing ok.    cheers! Desiree

i think that its part of the RA 'cycle' or 'rhythym' if you will. i get in lulls where i feel the same way. of course i always know in the back of my mind that my RA is never going away, but when my meds are working and its more or less 'managed' its not the sole focus of my thoughts. other things like normal every day life are the main priorities and i feel like i'm coping and "normal" (relatively speaking lol) eventually it comes back around tho, like a big ugly monster that sits on my chest and screams for my attention and the control i had over my life is yanked away. i just decided thats the cycle of my disease and as long as i remember that i can get through the 'bad' times cuz i know a good spell will follow.

Amy, I'm really glad to see you back on the site. Believe me, I look for you and I know a lot of the community does!

Joy B.

Hey Amy,

Glad you felt like writing, it's a good sign.  I hope you continue to improve enough that you have more good days than bad.  I know for me it has made me much more thankful for little things.  For example, even though I have a handicapped hangtag I walk the little extra it takes to return my cart to the store (at least on good days).  Why in the world they don't put cart collection areas near the handicapped parking is beyond me.  Who needs a convenient place to put a cart, the physically challenged or the able bodied?  Makes me glad to be able to return them to the store when I can and not feel guilty about leaving them there when I can't.  Enough of my pet peeve for today. 

Feel good lady!  Enjoy life!!

Peri

Decided I should maybe explain the "pitchfork" reference.  Think I've watched Mel Brooks "Young Frankenstein" too many times.  Big Mel Brooks fan, me.  In that same vein though, I think when we explain RA to people, we should start by telling them our immune response is Abby.  Abby Normal.

I find it so interesting that in your sharing you used the statement of not borrowing trouble,  In the past I didn't know what that meant, but a friend used it with me recently when I was talking about RA. I've been diagnosed with RA for a year.  Sometimes I get very afraid of the future, I hear people talking of pain, I work in a nursing home and see people crippled with the disease.  Right now my disease is pretty well controlled with meds, but I wonder about the future.  That phrase, of not borrowing trouble now means so much,  I don't know what the future holds, but don't get worked up about it before I have to.  Maybe I will have trouble, maybe I won't.  I have to remember to not borrow trouble ahead of time...

So glad RA's starting to know its place (firmly on the backburner) and you can see the rest of life - which is way more fun to look at.  Also really glad to see you posting again, I've missed your special brand of snark!

Good to hear from you!  I have not been on the website as much lately and it is always a joy to read your posts!   

The human body never ceases to amaze me.  It can turn against you and attack you but it can also overcome obstacles in its path by simply not allowing you to feel the pain as much (look at the badger football season, I already forgot how bad we were ). 

Anyway it is great to see that you are not letting RA dominate your life.  I am getting better with that myself but I still feel I have a long way to go. 

Take care and Merry Christmas!