OMG, we should talk!  I am living with just this!  I work 40+ hours a week outside the home, then come home and take care of everything else as if I were a homemaker.  We have a 4000 SqFt home with 4 bathrooms and I primarliy do 99% of the work.  Hubby helps a very little, son helps a little.  I do it all, Grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, scrubbing toilets, showers etc.  I'm exhausted, drained, irritated, annoyed and frustrated.  After working a 10 hour day, my hubby will ask whats for dinner?  He does not work.  Been retired for 9 years and is home most of the time.  He's in process of completing his BA, so his excuse is that he's busy studying. 

So, I do, do, do know what you mean.  The meds do not remove all the pain.  Sometimes I think it's worse.

I wish I had advice for you, but what others on this site have told me is refer your family to this site.  Let them read the posts.

Good Luck!

I feel the same way.  That is why it took me over a year to finally go to the dr and see if I had something wrong with me. 

Now, I think my family understands, but my hubby still gives me funny looks sometimes, like I am faking it.  His family too.  I think his grandmother finally realized on Easter what bad shape I am in because I tried to sit on the floor to change my daughter and she watched me struggle through the process.  THen  she watched me take 10 minutes to stand up...and crawl up the stairs to dinner.

Maybe she will pass the word along.

I have had RA for about the same time and have not had a pain free day either. I also do not express my feelings to my family. I hold it all in and deal with it myself. My wife knows when i am in extreme pain and she also knows my ability to do what I used to is dissapearing rapidly. It is hard to accept that I cant go out and work in the yard or climb on top of the house and fix a roof leak like i used to. I keep hearing that when they get the medicine right I will feel better but like you i have not seen that day. May we both find a few pain free days in our furture.

Jeff

Hi Go_rilla -

The first year is  learning - but you are past one and and I'm wondering if you've let your doctor know that you are still having a very rough time.  These days, most docs want to treat RA aggressively, and that may mean going to the big guns a lot sooner.  That could mean Remicade or Enbrel, or Humira for instance. Unless there is something in your medical history that would prevent your using them, you may want to do a little research and see what sounds right to you.

     I didn't agree with what my doctor first came up with (he actually was more aggressive than I was prepared for at first, but later appreciated it).  I went off the meds for a few months (which I could do then, but not now) and then after I knew what I thought would work for me and fit best in my life, I went back to him and told him.  It took us a while to get on the same wavelength, but since there aren't too many rheumatologists within 100 miles of me (2 that I know of), I made the decision to stick with him and work it out, rather than have to go back to square 1.  That may not be the right option for everyone.  For some, it might be an option to get a second opinion somewhere.  But if you're really not feeling better, then something should probably be changed or tried, or adjusted.  Hope  you can find how to feel better!  (and that your family will come to understand ... I heard of one woman with RA who couldn't do much more than moan in a chair.  Her hubby thought she was lazy & malingering - well,when she got on good meds for me, she was up and around in a flash, and he realized, she wasn't faking, she'd been in terrible shape.  Everyone's story won't be that dramatic but there is a lesson in it for some spectators!