expanding your family despite RA

By flutterby Thursday, April 23, 2009

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My husband and I have dicussed having another baby around a year from now. I am leary of this because although I had some symptoms of RA before my pregnancy, the pregnancy exacerbated the symptoms to the point of reaching the diagnosis. I truly long to have another baby and I really want my daughter to have a sibling. I have three siblings so I don't want her to miss out on those relationships. When I have asked my rheumatologist about my concerns about being off my meds for the pregnancy and at least 6 months for breast feeding, he just says we will deal with it. I know he means well but he won't have to deal with the debilitating pain, I will. The really scary thing is that I also have a high risk pregnancy due to a clotting disorder called lupus anti-coagulant disorder. I have had three miscarriages before my daughter. I really don't know how well I can handle caring for my toddler,having RA without meds, and having a high risk pregnancy. After talking with my husband I decided that no one can really tell me what to expect and therefore no one can make the decision for me. My hubby says he cares about my health more than anything but he would love to have another child. So here I am. I think the benefits outweigh the risks so I think I will go for it. My question to you all is , "is there any advice about getting pregnant and raising small children with RA knowing you have to stop the very medicine that right now I couldn't function without?" By the way, I am finally feeling so much better. Maybe this med combo is finally working!

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Lene Andersen, Health Guide

4/27/09 11:56am

I'm not a parent, so I can't really say anything wise about that, except that it sounds like you have thought this through very early and that if you think it's the right decision for you and your family, then it is the right decision for you and your family.

I can give you a bit of practical information - last year, I wrote a post on parenting with RA which contains links to a website called Moms with RA and another website with information about tools and doodads that can help you with some of the practical aspects of parenting young children with a disease like RA.

Best of luck!

flutterby

4/27/09 4:25pm

Thank you so mcuh for your help. The link you sent me is very helpful.

awamiba

5/18/09 1:58pm

Hello,

While I've had joint problems for many years, I wasn't diagnosed with RA until after I had my 2nd child. My rheumatologist told me that I was without the joint pain for the duration of the pregnancy & the breastfeeding time, but that as soon as that was over, I'd experience symptoms again. Boy, was he right! It was really hard having a toddler & a newborn & RA.

A couple years later we discovered, to our surprise, that we were pregnant again (birth control only being 99% effective, *sigh*). My joint pain went away again. It stayed gone through the birth of my child and through the first few weeks of breastfeeding, but again *wham* It came back worse than it'd been. Of course by this time my oldest was in kindergarten, so I was home most of the time with just a toddler & a newborn again. It wasn't easy, but what part of having babies is? You have the brain fog & the pain after birth anyway.

I know this isn't really an answer to your question, but I thought you'd like someone else's experience. Hope it helps a little, Lisa.

flutterby

5/18/09 7:43pm

Thanks so much. It really does help to hear other people's experiences. That actually sounds like a plus that the pain goes away while pregnant. I am looking forward to that especially because the pain I have from time of diagnosis hasn't gone away yet. It's true having babies is hard even without RA. Thanks for your help.

expanding your family despite RA

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