I have been planning my wedding to take my mind off of all the bad stuff going on in my life and all of it is due to me being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I cant work right now because of the pain. I get worse everyday that goes by my hands hurt so bad and are starting to disform, My left sholder has a big knot in it and the swelling is really bad, Both of my ankle's have so much swelling in them i can hardly walk and my fatigue is really bad. To make matters even worse I lost my insurance and cant get it back intil the end of this month. The foodstamps office made a mistake and they are fixing it now that I had to call the senator's office but I havent got them for 3 months. I have pawned just about everything I own to make sure my kids have food. I have been really broke for the last 3 months and it will take me about 3 months after I get them back to get back on my feet. I am hurting so bad and I cant see a doctor but I dont think they can help me with this pain anyways.  I take pain killers strong  one's too

 and they only last for so long. I had to ask my mom to move back in with me to help me out some with the kids  for the summer and intil I can get the proper treatment. What really upset me today is my boyfriends sister called him today and was talking alot of dum stuff her and his mom and other two sister are all saying that yea I am sick but that dont mean I cant go back to work. She said that because of my illness and him being laid off his job that we arent fit to be parents and all I am trying to do is live off the goverment. She also said that it would hurt her but she is planing to try to fight to take are son away. Everything was fine for them almost 2 years ago when i worked two jobs and never saw my kids and I guess to her I was a better mother in her eyes then. I dont know if anyone has felt as helpless as I do right now. I think all this stress and depression is making me worse. I love being home with my kids but at the same time I feel like crap that I cant work. It is hard when something holds you back from doing the things you once did and all the things you love to do. I am already pretty depressed about what life has delt me and trying to cope with this disease and his family just made it ten times worse . They arent here everyday and they never offer to help at all and when we ask for anything they always say first thing we dont have any money. They always act they are better than me. I dont know it just hurts to have so little support and so little understand. For the most part my boyfriend has been great so we arent having a wedding now we are just going down to the court house. It doesnt bother me as long as I am marrying the man I love and the man who love's me for me. Sorry this is so long but I had to vent. Does anyone think that his sister will get my son just because I am ill?