Sitting on the side lines

Sometimes I worry that I may lose my beautiful loving mate because I can't do the things I used to.  I feel a pang when he tells friends that ask us to go bowling or golfing that 'Kim can't do that with her RA".  I encourage him to go and feel vulnerable knowing that he wants me to have fun with him, but I need to rest when I'm flaring.  It's tough not to have a bit of a pity party when flaring like I am now.  The fevers, pain and fatigue have gotten the best of me this week.  I can push through, but know that just prolongs the symptoms.  So I pick and choose, trying to focus on the really special events or just going for it when I feel isolated.  My husband is hugely supportive and understanding.  I hate feeling insecure about my marriage.  Being a bit superstitious, It scares me to think that I could bring my worst fears to fruition by obsessing about what could happen.

Thanks for listening.  This is the one place that I don't ever fear rejection, a haven of sorts.

Any ideas about staying connected with your partner would be appreciated.  I've focussed so much on how to stay working.  Staying married is equally, if not more important to me.