A fresh perspective.

The first thing we try to do is to "deny" that we are in pain. Deny that we need treatment. Deny that anything worse could happen. Then when the pain is unbearable and our joints start to wilt, we do the "why me?". The truth is there is no answer.

For me personally, the journey has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride.

I was reacting well to my homeo treatment and could do almost everything I could in my pre RA days. I was in a bad marriage and a nasty divorce followed. I can confidently claim that I elbowed it all valiantly enough. But whats the cost? Whats the cost for an RA patient to take on a stress overdrive? The bonus prize was a flare. You would think a flare lasts a day, a week or a month. Nah ! Mine lasted 2 whole years. I was never into conventional western medicine. I went on the Ayurveda route which got me back on my feet. The meds taste awful. They make you feel nauseous, and almost always ready for the toilet. But, what  I did gain was my health back.

The Flare scare, we all have. when our finger pains a little more than usual or when you are more tired than the usual, we secretly worry.. almost beg to our dear friend RA.. please dont come again. But, RA has a mind of its own. Its a standalone entity. I wonder if i can ever exorcise myself of this "thing" that has taken control of me.

Every time a flare comes, it takes a bit of my movement with it. The first attack bent my left elbow. The second one took away my left wrist. The third one hit my right knee and my right elbow. The latest one almost had my right wrist.

Its funny how we take for granted simple things like pin your hair or putting your socks on..till its taken away from us.

I will tell you what RA has taught me. Its given me a fresh perspective of life.

Of what matters and what does not.

There is no poing being mad at God, mad at the situation/people who stress us, or just plain being mad at ourselves.

What i do now is that take ownership of my RA. Understand that it came to me cos I was karmically due for it. Its like a non smoker getting lung cancer. We didnt choose it, it chose us. What I am is at peace with the fact that I have RA.