Maybe I'm just having a bad flare up day and the depressions hitting me hard today, but I'm only 26 and feel like I'm going to be single forever with this disease, and my cat (Artemis). Its very frustrating cause my hands and feet look deformed but the rest of my body looks healthy but feels as stiff as a corpse. I've had this disease for more than 15 years but its killing me more and more as I am in the first quarter of my life and recently broken off with my ex of 3 and a half years. I feel like dating is pointless cause no ones going to want to understand this disease with someone they've never met and I dont want to deal with my friends because they dont understand no matter how long they've known me. Maybe I'm just being annoying but these thoughts run through my head all day long and the thought of me ending up in a wheelchair is something I'm terrified of but understanding that I might not be able to avoid. I already feel like people see me as a slightly deformed swollen walking "healthy looking" person but deep down I see an ugly person with an even uglier future. I wonder if people out there with RA feel this way at times? I understand that one day I will smile again but these up and downs of pain both emotional and physical seem to be getting worse. I feel like I'm the outcasted 26 year that should be loving life but can't. Are there others that have gone through this? I'd appreciate any suggestions or thoughts. I hope you all stay strong through your battles and not end up or over come my situation.
let us know how its going 
My mind is still young, and I thank the Good Lord for that.
Hello, and welcome to MyRACentral. We have a lot of members here of different ages with different challenges, and we do understand. I did not have RA at a young age, but I can relate to your statement about not explaining to friends. I have found that the good friends stay, and the not-so-good friends go, and that is okay.
You might want to read:
healthcentral.com/rheumatoid-arthritis/news-459765-98.html
Rheumatoid Arthritis and Relationships
It is important not to isolate yourself from friends and family. You need support, especially when you are flaring.
I am old
, so I was already married when I was dx with RA. My husband has been so wonderful to me. He is my best friend and my biggest supporter. My other relatives though...not so much. My mother-in-law thinks I am a hypochondriac, my folks are elderly and live with me. I don't think they can get their mind around the fact that they can walk better in the mornings than I can. They just sort of look the other way, I think, and hope it will go away. If you have people like that in your life, you need to see it for what it is and not waste your prescious energy thinking about why they are the way they are.
There is nothing wrong with you; there is everything wrong with them.
I have developed an attitude of gratitude for the blessings in my life, and I have a way of avoiding those people who are not kind or understanding. I don't talk to those types at all about my illness. I don't need the aggravation, and neither do you, sweetie.
Please try to keep yourself open to relationships. Dont' go actively looking. Instead, try to enjoy your life and engage in activities that bring you joy. It has been my experience that we meet the nicest and most interesting people when we aren't looking. I have actually met some wonderful people who became friends in the grocery store, at church, and at seminars.
When RA is flaring, it is hard not to be depressed. Actually, I am always a bit depressed when I flare. I think it is normal. The depression always goes away when I feel better.
Do you feel as though your RA is under control? Do you have a good rheumatologist? BTW, you are a beautiful young lady, and you must be a good person, because you like cats! I have three: Ted, Callie and K.C.
Hope you feel better soon.
V
Thank you so much for the response and encouragement and you don't look old at all. And with a spirit like that you have to have the most kindest youthful and nicest heart and spirit than anyone I've known with RA. I try to go out and I'm not that good at socializing... I'm shy but I do try to go out at times. The whole theory of meeting people when you're not looking is very true and I'm trying to do the things I used to love; (sudoku, traveling around town, movies etc.) but its exhausting. I just don't want this disease to make it more exhausting as I get older and its scary. I'm gonna try and fight through this, even if I find it pointless, but I will continue to try. Congrats for being so lucky to have such a good support system around you and thank you for being so kind to write back to me. I truly do appreciate someone like you for taking the time to write to me. Thank you V.