RA and a few others

Aw crap, Brad... that really, really sucks.  There are times where it feels as if the universe has elected you as a particular object of harassment and is engaging in a protracted and enthusiastic exercise of that harassment.  I don't blame you for being depressed - it can be so very difficult to find meaning in a life that at times seems characterized by loss.  It is a real challenge to pull yourself out of the abyss and when things are really bad, it can be near impossible to do it yourself. Have you had counselling?  I can highly recommend cognitive therapy - I've tried a number of different counsellors over several decades, but the shrink who specialized in cognitive therapy was the most helpful for me. I haven't needed to see anyone since and still use the techniques he taught me.

That said, you clearly need to get your physical health under some semblance of if not control, then managed. What does your doctor say?  You haven't been on Humira for very long, right? Remember that it can take several months to really kick in and hopefully it will soon.  Good pain control is an essential part of being able to build your energy levels slowly and get back to your life again.  The dopeyness from the Vicodin will likely subside as your body gets used to it and you'll get the benefits of getting pain control without feeling like a zombie.  Might it be an idea to ask your doctor for a referral to a pain clinic? Painkillers aren't the only tools available to get you pain under control and seeing a pain specialist might be a good idea. 

The key is to find something that you can control - with this barrage of crap on you, you get to a point where you feel as if you're not in control at all and slowly clawing back just a little bit of control over just a small area of life can be the beginning to coping better.  I used to start with alphabetizing my CD collection, but I'm sure you can find your own place where you can do a little something that makes you feel as if you are in charge of your life.

I hope things get better soon.

Brad,

I am in the same boat... 38 and it takes an hour to get out of bed and my wife ties my shoes alot... How depressing!! Be wary of the pain clinics ive been to 2 of them and heard the same thing(We generally do injections and really arent sure what to do with you). Ive decided to seek a third Rhuematologist and lay it out there from the start. If they dont want to do what i want them to then i will move on.. Call it what you want Dr. shopping, what ever i dont care anymore. Throw me in jail i dont care, im to the point where it doesnt matter anymore. Those commercials are a joke!

The first rhumy wanted to know more about my mother, this one talkes at me instead of listening to me.

Ive been on embral, and methotrexate. Remicade and sulfasalazine, Mobic, folic acid, 30 MG of predisone and now they want to try Rituxin... Talk about being a guinee pig. All the while I am on the verge of losing my job and the pain is overwhelming. The only relief i have gotten over the last 3 years is a combination of the prednisone, 6 Norco a day and 2 30 MG of morphine. Un fortunatly those meds were hard fought and gotten from the second pain clinic and my primary. the morphine was more a a sympathy med with no refills but the combination worked. I dont get high off of them they just let me open a soda and a can of spagettios!!! YES

This is where i draw the line if i cant get the next rhuematologist to at least make me comfortable while they explore the options then screw them i will move on. I am past the point of caring about the DEA or the dependancy issue. Right now for me there is no quality of life so it cant get any worse....

Hi Brad,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.  You are fighting a war on many fronts - lots of manifestations of autoimmune disease, side effects of meds, grief over the things that you cannot do given your current state of health, overwhelming fatigue...  Whew!  Who woundn't be depressed.

Lene makes some great suggestions.  And perhaps it helps to know that you are not alone.  There are so many of us fighting auotimmune disease.  There are a lot of lifestyle measures that can combat the prednisone-induced diabetes.  You can ask your doctor for a referral to a Certified Diabetes Educator.  And antidepressants do help, although they too take a while before one gets the full benefit.

Try and hang onto your hope.  Yes, its really hard right now.  But things do shift, and the body always has the potential to recover with the right support.  Not that the RA, etc will go away but hopefully will quiet rather than continue to roar.

I'm a big fan of Rachel Remen.  She too has a chronic autoimmune disease that has significantly altered her life's path, but found a new way of life and shines a light for all of us with chronic disease.  Perhaps reading one of her books will give you some peace as you find your way to living with the challenges of autoimmune disease.

Thinking of you,

J.

My name is Brad also and some of the things you wrote sound just like what I am going through... Maybe it has something to do with our first name, lol...

Hang in there I am sure they will find something to make both of us feel better!!

Hey, just hoping things are going better. You have popped up to encourage others so many times. God bless,

Kelly