When I get depressed I cry

Dear Holly and others,

Thankyou Holly for being so open and honest

I too have suffered the depths of depression. I slowly sunk into depression not recognising it at all until it had a dreadful grip on me. I just thought I was not enjoying life as I should and finding everything a chore and dissatisfying. I was a perfectionist and tried very hard to do better than I could manage on my own. I was too stubbin and too proud to ever ask for help or be defeated. 

This was many years before severe rheumatoid struck me literally overnight.

With the rheumatiod I became dependent on everyone, especially my husband as I couldn't get out of bed. I was too weak to bear the weight of my own body  on my legs, and not strong enough to get the ink to write from a pen.

I really do believe that depression is an attitude problem that can lead to chronic sickness such as rheumatoid.

Crying is something that I would fight and I am still uncomfortable with crying. But I can agree with you Holly, it is a wonderful healing mechanism.

                     Blessed are you who weep now

                            for you will laugh   Luke 6v21

Your account on depression is so beautiful and I thank you for opening up your soul to help others. You are truly a blessing and full of wisdom.

Hope is a good choice, it leads to overcoming depression and turns it into joy.

Patience with myself certainly has a big bearing on the way I manage the afflication of rheumatiod. I need to allow myself time and care because no one is going to be more involved with me than myself. I should not expect anyone to be more patient with me  than I am with myself. 

I have tried prayer to have this affliction removed and it is still here. It is very disheartening and a test to my faith. But deep down I believe God knows of my plight and will not let me experience anything I cannot handle. With Him by my side I am strong and I know that He loves me. I am passionate about God and his love. This helps me tremendously with my affliction and I hope you find this too.

                                 Be joyful in hope

                               Patient in affliction

                                Faithful in Prayer  Romans 12v12

                                   Love to all

                                     Debbie

I used to see a shrink and he was very helpful in giving me tools to get out of the depression and develop coping mechanisms that help me not get quite as depressed as I used to (mindfulness is the best tool I've ever learned in 40 years of RA). After the main part of our work together was done, I used to go back and get "refresher" courses once or twice a year, until I realized that every time I went to him, it was because I had inadequate pain control. Unreasonable pain makes you depressed.  Once I realized that, I went to my rheumatologist instead and got better drugs and the depression got much better.  That's not to say it's not there - it is. But I learned that when I feel lost and have no more perspective, I need to hit my RA first and if that doesn't help, then find help for the depression.  Thing is, so far, the bad depression lifts once my RA is suppressed again. And for the rest of it, I read books on mindfulness, meditating and talking to friends.

I wish that this was talked about more when you get diagnosed, because the emotional toll of this disease, especially when it stops you in your tracks so suddenly, is huge.  I felt dismal for months after my diagnosis-it only began to lift once I got on better meds and could get the pain under control, like Lene said. Once that happened, I could begin to sort through all of my thoughts and complicated feelings.  Meditation helped, and so did writing in my journal, even though that hurt my wrists! Finding ways to get your feelings out and regain perspective is so important.

Sara

Hello. I am crying right now as a matter of fact. As I read your post, the tears just came. I also cry alot because of the pain and the depression. I feel like my lifes over as I once knew it. The pain never goes away. It's with me all day and all night. People just don't understand to well. It's so hard to explain to someone who doesn't have RA. It's so nice to know that there are people who understand because they feel the same pains that I feel. Good Luck to all who read this. I hope relief comes soon.

You are so right about docs not warning us about depression.  Your post was so inspiring and true.  Thank you for making me feel that there is hope for us all.

Holly,

Thank you so much for this post. I am a mom in her early thrities with RA and found this by googling "I cry every day because of my RA".  I have two young kids and your writing has really hit home because my RA is very servere and no medication is working.

Thanks again.

Hello,

The best thing is to stop thinking of what you are thinking for.. later it will automatically gets away from you.

Don't sit quite and talk to everyone that will be cool.

Share things understand the world whats happening, Prepared your self for difficulties becaues life is difficult to live

Hello,

Everyone gets depressed.  It is just how long you feel the way you feel.  If it lasts too long and gets in the way of daily life then you should take some time out and figure things out. 

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Crying is ok.  And I do it too.  Along with RA, I also have psoriatic arthritis and that makes it so much harder to control.  My depression comes and goes as well.  I agree that each tear makes it easier to deal with and somehow we come out of the tears feeling stronger and able to push ahead one more time.  I worry though about the possibility of not being able to push ahead.  That's why people like you are great to have around.  It's great to share your pain with those that really understand.  Thanks for your help.