Remembering where you came from in the fight with RA

The wait for the results of my blood test were excrutiating. It was almost as bad as the physical pain I was in. I finally got a call from my doctors office later that week and was floored that it had come so soon. But instead of getting an answer I got a referral to a rheumatologist. Two weeks later I found myself sitting in the waiting room at a rheumatologists office. I knew this would be the day I got answers, but I was in fear of how much more testing I was going to have to go through. I was in fear of how much more testing I could handle. The rheumatologist drew blood and I had xrays done, and then I left. I left with no answers. I was scared and confused and wondered if I were going crazy. Could nothing be wrong like the doctors told me? Was this just all in my head? I was working part time by this time and was having a hard time making it through the day. I had begun walking through the office to go outside for a break when I got "the phone call". "Holly", she said, "Your blood test results are back and you have quite a severe case of rheumatoid arthritis, but I'm sure your primary physician has already told you that". She hadn't! I hit the the floor...literally. My legs gave out on me and I began to sob uncontrollably. I still sob uncontrollably.

Remember your a fighter!

I'm telling you my story for one purpose and one purpose alone. I am telling you this because I think it is very important to remember these things. It's important to remember the hard times, because those are the times that helped you become who you are today. I fought with everything I had to get someone to listen to me. I knew something was very wrong and I had a life that I was tired of throwing away because of the pain. Shortly after my diagnosis I had to go back to my previous primary physician to get my medical records. The doctor was standing in the office at the time of my arrival. I walked in and asked for my medical records, and once I received them this is what I did...I stated very loudly that I was diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis, then I turned around to the patients in the waiting room and said, "If you need a good doctor I suggest you go somewhere else." Yes, it was petty of me, but it sure made me feel better! Sometimes I have to force myself to sit down and think about those times. Not because it is depressing, but because of the things I was able to accomplish. There are still days when I don't feel strong enough to fight and that I question if I will ever be strong enough to fight. But when I think back on the things I was able to fight for it reminds me that I am a true fighter. That's who I am! So if you ever have the days when you question how you could ever possibly go on living with this horrible disease, take a second to remember where you came from. After all...to get to where your going you must remember where you came from. Best wishes!