From the outside looking in: A letter to those suffering from the ones who love you

    I like to believe that one day you will find relief, and when you do...when you are able to smile again, I want to smile with you and I want you to be able to know that I will be and always have been right here by your side. You may never know the tears I have cried for you or the begging and pleading I have done on your behalf. 

You may never know the times I have tried desperately to hold it together because the pain of seeing someone I love so much in unimaginable pain is almost too much to bear. You could never know the days I wanted to just yell and scream because it it so unfair that something so bad has happened to someone so good.    You may never know these things, you may never even remember all of the struggles you have gone through, but you will know that you were never alone. You will know that you will never have to go through this by yourself, I will alway be here for you!

As rheumatoid arthritis sufferers I do believe that there were times when we are able to see how hard this has been for the ones who love us. I also know that there were times that we thought that those same people could never understand what we have gone through, and continue to go through on a daily basis. But I don't think we could ever understand how much this disease affects those who love us. I often talk about fighting this disease. I talk about how if you aren't at the point to where you can fight this disease for yourself, then you should start your fight by fighting this disease for the ones who love you and have seen your struggle.

So today look around you, I mean REALLY look around you and open your eyes and open your hearts. We need to see those people who are still here by our sides. We need to know that the ones who are still here suffered right along side us. They have cried real tears and begged and pleaded for us, just as we have all done for ourselves. They have been strong for us when we needed it, when we couldn't be strong enough for ourself. They have held it together for us when all they wanted to do is break down and scream and cry. They have been here fighting this disease with you the whole time.

So when you look around today and really see all those who love you and are still here, smile! And I don't mean just a grin, smile big! Smile at those who fight everyday with you, for they have wished on millions of stars to see that smile again. If they aren't there to see you smile, then give them a call. Tell them some cheesy joke over the phone and laugh your heart out, for you know they would have traded everything they have just to hear you laugh again, even just once. We all have been to the point to where we have felt so alone in our fight with this disease, that we could never possibly see that the ones who love us were suffering too. But they were. And how blessed are we that out of something so horrible like Rheumatoid Arthritis came such love and compassion from those who never had to feel the physical pain. They are the ones who helped us become stronger. They are the ones who made this fight worth fighting.