I'm a proud person and I always have been. I don't like to ask for help, especially when I need it the most. I don't like to admit that there are things I am unable to do. And I sure don't like anyone thinking I am anything less than superwoman. I am too proud to admit that I can no longer take on the world as I once was able to. A lot of us rheumatoid arthritis sufferers are too proud to admit these things. But being proud people, why don't we take pride in the things that we are able to do and still can accomplish?

I spent the last couple days at Laughlin Air Force Base in Del Rio Texas. It was a pretty amazing experience for me, one that I will remember for the rest of my life. I was there to see my little brother get his wings. He has worked hard his whole life to pursue his dreams, and let me tell you that the things he has accomplished weren't just handed to him. He worked as hard as he could to get to where he wanted to be. The graduation ceremony was amazing. I watched him, with that permanent smile attached to his face, up on stage. He stood tall. He stood proud. Sitting next to my mother-in-law and his beautiful wife I could tell they were all feeling the same way I was. They were all so proud of Jeff. I could tell by the smile on his wifes face that she was proud too, not only of the greatness he had accomplished, but also for being by his side and supporting him on pursuing his dreams. This was a huge accomplishment, one he would treasure for the rest of his life, one they both would treasure. The little things that seemed to get in their way along his journey to pursue his dreams did not bother them. He took full pride in the things he had done to get to this point. And he very deservingly stood proud.

It really got me to thinking about taking pride in who I am, and I started to wonder why was that so hard for meto do. Being the "proud" person that I am, why couldn't I be as proud of myself and my accomplishments as a rheumatoid arthritis sufferer? So I did some soul searching since I have been home. I desperately wanted to answer my own question and somehow make since of everything. So this is what I came up with...

We, as rheumatoid arthritis sufferers, are used to having things taken away from us whether it be our goals, our plans, or our dreams. We focus so much on the things we are no longer able to do, instead of the little things that we can do that are still so important to us in our everyday life. I was in court reporting school when I got my diagnosis and was told to stop because of the severity of the damage in my hands. That was one dream down the drain and I had nothing to be proud of. I had to quit working in 2005 due to the pain and stiffness that had taken over my body...another failed accomplishment. There are times when I am unable to clean the whole house, make breakfast, make lunch, make dinner, do laundry, take my kids to the park, and play superwoman...more potential accomplishments down the drain. So that's it! I have nothing to be proud of, right?