I know what you are saying I could not believe how fast this disease stole my life from me! I am 42 and was diagnosed 4 months ago with severe RA > I went from being on no meds to taking 9 different things. I have to be honest with you, it sucks I was a very active person and now I can't ven go out for my walks any more just climbing the stairs to get to the bathroom some days is a chore.But , I have started a drug called humira they are shots and it has brought me 40% to what I was at least now I can dress myself again and go to the bathroom by my self . So cheer up it will get better but its nice to know that we are not alone in this fight against such a horrible disease!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL! turning 30 is depressing for everyone, RA or not. But the fact that you can see the joy in life- despite the acute pain that sucks up your energy and makes everything really hard- means that you HAVE indeed reached that defining stage: sounds to me like you are definitely a survivor, a strong mother and a best friend.
Don't think too much about how the rest of your life will be consumed with pain, because new medicine is invented everyday, and the disease modifying drugs get better and better!! plus this disease is very random, you could be in terrible pain for a couple years and then it disapears for 8 years (like what happened to mE!)
now its back, and i hope i can suppress it and it will go into remission--- that is the hope...it happened once, maybe it will happen again -- 8 years is a lifetime of no pain!!
you are also a great writer! keep it coming :)
Not everyone disliked turning 30. I have an amazing clarity in my 30's. I experienced more sadness and pain in my 20's than 30's. I have been living with this disease for 15 years. It's all in your attitude 20, 30, 40's, and so on. You fight the disease, don't let it fight you!!! My 30's are my true 20's. I'm having a Ball!!! I have defined myself in my 30's and have made this in to a mission to help others. So, embrace you 30's and kick RA in the tookus, Lol.
Kim
I was 40 when I first came down with RA. All my Drs said this as good as it will get. Could not walk or even hold a fork to eat with. So I naturally I lost some weight. My boss at work had a job that I could do and held my regular job for me. (I was a conductor on the Rail Road) After two years I was able to go back to work and live life and have fun. One thing to watch is what you eat and if it causes pain don't eat that again. My most pain came from Beef and Pork products and oh yes Orange juice. Read the book by Dr Mc Dougle(sp?) he is a bit out there but he has some good thougts to ponder. I am now 64 and have had RA for 24 years and there is a life out there for you Good luck, Phillip
I like your fighting spirit. You are a very brave girl. Of course you have the right to be down depressed and full of self pity. But the fight we all put in to snatch some of our life back makes us all a very brave bunch. I was diagnosed with severe RA nine years back. At that time I felt that wheelchair is my only destiny. I have quite some disabilities like cannot climb staircase without my stick, getting up from a sitting position is hell and getting up on high steps is completely forbidden. But still I carry on working in a very demanding job and keep fighting my RA with a smile. Putting that smile is very difficult at times but I still do it because it is my great weapon in my fight against my RA.
Ratnapriya
the day i turned 30 i spent in bed crying my eyes out HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. Friends stopped by and i wouldn't see , talk or listen to them. I missed a whole day of my life. the next am i woke up smiling and wondering why i had such a hard time turning 30. since than 24 birthdays latter i look forward to my BIG DAY. I don't know about you but when i become obessed with something it makes my RA worst. So just LET GO AND LET GOD .
Hi Holly,
I agree with you. Fighting for as much life as possible is the right decision. And like was said above, it is all worth it.
Thanks to RA, I have a very different view of my birthdays now:
I am never sad that I am "older" - instead I am glad that I made it thru another year.
Great post. Happy birthday blessings early,
Kelly 
Hi Holly-
good article..
I just turned 32 on September 9th and was reflecting somewhat downhearted on the fact that I still live with my mom, don't have a job despite having my BA.. and not where I feel I should be in general.
I have had Juvenile onset RA since I was a little girl and it hasn't gone in remission at the least!!! It really SUCKS
but life goes on and there are so many things to be grateful for as long as I don't allow myself to wallow around in so -called societies expectations and aprpeciate all the things going well.. or looking for the 'other' doors to open.
Anyways, just wanted to share a little
Happy Birthday, Holly. Don't know about for you, but I'm always down before my birthday and my best months are after I've got over that hurdle, so maybe things will seem brighter for you soon. Having reached the royal age of 56, I know that 30 is really quite young, and I personally was at the top of my energy and abilities in my 30s and 40s. I got RA as a 50th birthday present, so it's hard for me to separate out what made me down about being 50 and what was due to the RA, so I identify with what you say. Just remember RA doesn't define you.
I hope you enjoy/ have enjoyed your birthday, and with your spirit I'm sure you'll have a good decade.
I so can relate,I watched my mother battle with Ra it took her fast.I had turned 34 my long term dreams down the crapper.couldnt move one day,I was so scarred I knew what i had.two doctors no Ra factors ,I showed sighns of it all right.6 months later moderate RA.
All i could think how am I going to keep driving long haul trucking .I did though I hide it well .It was last march i had an incident I hit a barrier head on in a parking lot cause the strenghth in my leg gives out every now and then..I was time for me to rethink things over.I love semi and love to drive semi .I feel to depression some thing i really never had before.It took 3 months to find a job so now the pay is crap but i still get to work with truck drivers ...behind the fuel desk ...
so keep your dreams ,and dont let Ra get the best of us ...keep fighting its worth it
Yes, when a disease changes your life so dramatically, it is hard NOT to focus on it constantly. I have a sorority sister who has had cancer twice and she focuses her energy on sharing her knowledge of her disease. She has raised $750,000 for cancer in the 10 years since she started!
After having this disease for only 3 years, I had planned to start speaking to groups about RA this fall to raise awareness of it. Just a 5 minute speech...nothing big. People just don't know about RA and they need to put a face with the disease. What better way to share our knowledge and raise funds for research?
I would like to challenge you to change your thinking. You said you have so many more years to fight this disease-feel lucky that you will have SO MANY MORE YEARS to fight this disease. We as RA sufferers are lucky that current treatments allow us the ability to live a long and productive life. I am turning Fabulous Forty in a month and have had RA since age 9. I did not imagine my life as it is today but I take the good with the bad and would not trade my life with anyone else. Would you?
Good morning. I was doing a little research on arthritis in 30yr olds and came across your post. Just this past year, as I turned 31, I have started having trouble with my finger joints, my feet and my right shoulder. I thought I was going crazy. At first it started in my left thumb and I thought I had broken it! It was swollen and painful and I couldn't move it without wanting to cry. Then it moved to other fingers and I realized that it's not broken bones. I haven't been to the doctor yet. I really did think it was all in my head as I was panicking about being in my THIRTIES (DUN DUN DUN...). However, I will be making a trip soon to see what can be done about this. I have diagnosed myself with having arthritis. My fingers look just like my 82yr old aunt's! Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. I will fight this as well because I did not survive my roaring twenties to be sitting on the couch for my flimsy thirties! Thanks. :o)
Holly I can totally relate to the angst you feel when you think about turning 30, I'm still only 28 and already dreading it. I was told by my Rheumatologist when I was diagnosed at age 6 to be prepaired to be in a weelchair by the time I was 30, but I'm not even close. I was also told I could never be a dancer, and yet I dance every day of my life and sometimes professionally. Dancing is my bliss and I will fight RA every moment of every day just so that I may Dance another Day and Night! I am with you Holly fighting the good fight , fighting for our right to life so that through all the pain we may be able to find some Joy in it. Although going into the next chapter of your life can be scarry it's even scarier when you have RA, so we fight it and hope that by fighting we may have another day and another chance to LIVE and enjoy your personal Bliss. Best Wishes To You For A Happy Birthday!
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect
I too was diagnosed with rhuematoid arthritis when I was 16. I walked with a cane for years and lost vision in my eyes on a regular basis due to Iritis. Every time I have my blood panel done my rhuematoid factor is always over 100. The pain I experienced of and on for over 12 years was excruciating causing me to have surgery on both of my heels removing a considerable amount of bone and surrounding tissue around my ankles. Despite all of the this I am winning my daily battle with RA and have been pain free for over 18 years now. I have had a few bouts of iritis and skin rashes but my vision is 20/20 and I taught and played competetive racquetball for years. I go to the gym regularly and am in excellent shape now at age 48. I will never totally defeat RA but I know how to keep it in check. I saw one post about Dr. John Mcdougall. He is not the total and only answer but he is part of the answer. I did not start winning my battle until I started following his plan. Jack LaLanne is another part of the answer. Everyone is different and there is not one answer or treatment for everyone including a magic pill from a doctor. I seldom see doctors now as I no longer suffer from RA. If you really want to get better, do a google search for Best Arthritis Cure at BESTSUPPLEMENTGUIDE.COM. I wrote the article. The jest of it is, there is no cure, but you can keep it in check and get better. I prefer to do it without anti inflammatory medication or doctor treatment because when I did, I only got worse. What I did won't work for everyone but it just might help someone. It works for my 24 year old son who is a winning competetive bodybuilder, also diagnosed with RA and Asthma.
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I know this is an old post, but you are making the difference in your children by being the "homework manager taxi dad." Having a parent's guidance and support is one of the most important influences for a child. When it's your children's turns to influence the world themselves, they will be all the better for having had their dad be there for them.