hey...You sound like a very cool woman....Just discovered this web site, and I need to put my 2 sense in(her I go again, sara nash,if you read this......).....there is a real reason....I am very experienced in RA, as i have been living with it for a LONG time.. Hang in there...takes years to finally adjust and settle in..If this concept overwhelmes you, don't let it.......and i am not that old yet......listen to me....Give yourselves more time to digest, accept, incorprate RA..I have a very full, active, physical life..But, if RA becomes your Focus, do not let it "suck you dry"..OK?..If you are worrying about it too much and can't escape it's Obnoxious clutch, tell your rheumatologist or internest..Many mild meds can help with that... to help cope  thru the daily worries of a young mom with RA....Please...all you wonderful young men and women...do Not let RA suck you dry..look forward...combo of meds, biologics, and most important? joint replacement....  My salvation has been 2 total hips at 18 and 2 total knees , also done at 21 and 25..they lasted many years...so , when my youngest was 3 years old, i had my hips "re-done", I remeber the nightmare of trying to balance my family, back in the saddle of surgery.(with aky anckles, shoulders, etc..)..( they had lasted 21 years.)..(and i had had 3 children after the replacements)...althought these surgeries can "loom" over the face of RA folks, to me? they are a "cure".....Once the weight baring joints were replaced, my life was reclaimed...these web sites are a God send, but use them for hope...then , get outside and live your lives..)..RA does NOT define you...but, you need to set the tone for that..be well......it gets   better.....julie