Q: My mom is on tons of medication for rheumatoid arthritis and she no longer seems like my mom anymore. The medication has made her a totally different person.
Hi, Tina,
What is different about you mom? I'm trying to determine exactly what you mean. Do you know the names of the medication your mom takes?
RA is a tough illness to deal with. The pain an fatigue can be overwhelming, so that people are not able to to everything that they used to do.
It takes a while for the doctors to find the right combination of meds for each patient. Everyone is different.
How long has your mom been diagnosed with RA? Your mom needs a lot of support while she struggles to get a handle on this chronic condition.
Please give us a few more details, and we will try to help you understand what is going on.
Peace,
V
Hi, Tina,
Prendisone can cause some people to be emotional and say things that are generally out of character. In addition to that, the pain and fatiuge can make us all grumpy. 
You mom is probably a little overhwhelmed right now. I think the best thing you can do is be supportive and try to be patient. It takes a while to learn to live with RA. It would be great if you mom could check ou some of the resource material on this site. As Lene Anderson, one of our experts, says, "Knowledge is power."
So sorry you have to go through this. RA affect the entire family.
Peace to you, Tina.
V
I can tell you from my perspective about RA and how it affects me. I am not who I was 6 months ago. I am grieving the loss of the pre RA self.
Sometimes we feel lost within this disease, and we feel utterly alone- even when there are a million people who love us and care about us surrounding us-we feel singular within it.
We mourn who we used to be. We are angry that for no reason at all we are suddenly inflicted with this body that is turning against itself. Outside of the pain is the exhaustion, and the drugs have side effects that scare the living daylights out of me.
I can't tell you what to do about your mom, other than to be there for her, let her know that while you can't take away how she feels, you will listen, and that most of all, she is NOT a burden.
I hope you can find some peace in this, even if she can't, just know that RA affects everyone differently and in turn, every family differently.
Good luck, and love her in spite of who she has become- because under all that anger, pain, sorrow and depression a glimmer of your mom still shines.
Hugs, T.
Thank you very much for your insight, your right she may have changed but regardless I still have to love her and let her know that she is not a burden. We will get through this one day at a time. I will have to be the strong one now for her. Take care and hoping the best for you as well.
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I will find try to find out what medications, but the ones I know are steroids and cancer medications. The doctors told her she has one of the most agressive forms of rheumatoid arthritis they have seen and she will be permantely disabled in 5 years. Mainly her spirit is gone, shes always angry, and she used to be the strong one and now is meek/weak and anything makes her cry. I feel like the mother and she is the child. She won't tell anyone when she is hurting and then she will have these angry outbursts that she is in so much pain. But without her telling me anything how am I supposed to know. Her memory is totally gone and she says things that are uncharacteristic. I think she is angry at the world because of this disease and has a huge chip on her shoulder. Her face is swollen due to the steroids and she has tons of bruises all over her arms from the steroids. I keep telling her that if she doesn't change her mind set, the disease will win. I just don't know how to help and get her spirit back to live. I think she has given up the fight.