I am also 44 and have been dealing with lupus and rheumatoid for about 17 years. this past year has been absolutely aweful, dont seem to be responding to treatment. one of the few things i still struggle with is that no one can ever pinpoint exactly what is going on. But recently (i know...its taken me a while...im slow!) i have learned it really is one day at a time. I got through yesterday and i will get through today too. Try to look at how your doing over longer periods like the week or month and not hour to hour as i did for so long. It doesnt help! Know that there are alot of people dealing with the same pain and having the same questions. I wish we could all get together and figure it out!