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Firt off, I am really sorry you are in so much pain.  I know how you feel as I deal with it daily and am often at my wits end and cry out of frustration that nothing seems to be working.  The medications prescribed for RA due to take time to work.  Prednisone might be an option for you, initially it can be prescribed in a high dose and then tapered to a low dose of 5 mg.  Prednisone helped me more than anything else.  It also gave me a burst of energy I hadn't felt in a long time.  It has been more than a year for me since my initial diagnosis. I am still in a lot of pain and am waiting for the next step up which will be a biologic after being on 3 dmards (Arava, methotrexate, plaquinel) with still no resolve in my symptoms.  Hang in there, it does take time for these medications to work but your pain can be better managed.  I am also thinking that working full time is not helping.  I am not sure of your situation but if you can apply for a short term disability or medical leave of absence it might help.  You are in my thoughts.  Be firm with your doctor and let her know how much pain you are in and if you don't get results ie better pain management ask to be referred to someone else.  I have had female doctors and they have been very good.    Don't let gender affect your decision.  My doctor is notorious for a bad beside manner however he is the head of rheumatolgoy and I trust him.  That is the most important factor in choosing a doctor.  You must trust that they will do their best to get your RA under control.