I am only 35 and am a mum of 3.  Been battling this debilitating RA for 4 years now.  Its in a nut shell destroyed the person I used to be.  You sound like such a supportive wife, bless you for that because it makes all the difference when you have people who have the abitlity to express empathy for another person.  You don't have to HAVE RA to understand what it can do to a persons life, if you look and listen hard enough its plain to see it can completely alter a once fit and active person, and it can reduce them to a weak, depressed, helpless person.  Not someone I certainly ever envisioned for myself.  I love my husband completely and honor him for staying with me, but it hasn't been easy.  I used to be the 'do it all mum', and now I can barely tie up my girls hair in the mornings.  I am being treated with Methotrexate, Arava and now in the beginnings of Humira, hoping for a miracle.  haven't had a break from a very agressive flare since DEC 09, and becomming very weary.  Pain killers don't work for me?  Prednisone gives some relief but doesn't tackle the fatigue.  And Its put 40 kilos of weight onto a small frame of 5'3.  Its not the weight gain that gets me so much, its more of how the steroids make me look, I feel deformed almost.  Puffy face, hump back, I just look unatural if you know what I mean... Sorry rambling on but I am so tired of it all.  Just wanted you to know, that it takes a strong and smart person to step up for another person when they need you the most.  It will make all the difference in his overall recovery, and I hope he gets some real soon, as I do for myself too.  I wish my husband could accept my condition as well as you have, but everyone is different, he is a man and he feels helpless and has trouble dealing with it all.  People need to realise that the carers suffer too.. Sincerely Tina xxxxxx