What would you do if you found out that a couple of your coworkers complained to your supervisor that she was giving you preferencial treatment? I have FMLA in place, and apparently it aggravates them. One of these ladies....the one who is in love with herself and knows it all....even went so far to say that I didn't need my cane...that "it is all in her head". My boss told her it is not in my head, and that she has seen the doctor's reports. This really bummed me out today. I do my work, no one picks up my slack when I am gone. It is all there when I get back and I get it done more quickly and efficietnly than the woman who was complaining about me. So sad. Why do people have to be so self-absorbed and inconsiderate? I will be fine, but right now, I am a bit shocked at their callousness, and I will admit that my feelings are hurt. I'm thinking I'm not the only one who has experience this. Any stories to share, so that I don't fell so alone? Any suggestions. Hugs to you all, and Happy Valentine's Day.
V, If it was me, my feelings would be very hurt also. As a sensitive person, this type of thing really bothers me. But, slowly over the years I have realized that these people have issues that are beyond us. Trying to understand or even make them understand us is impossible. I wrote a short blog about this the other day:http://thelifeandadventuresofcatepoo.blogspot.com/2012/02/when-izzy-and-i-go-for-our-morning-walk.html.
My thoughts are to go to work with a great big smile everyday and not let them know their meaness bothers you. I think sometimes knowing they have got to us is part of the thrill. You know what your disease is about and whether they want to understand and accept it is their issue, not yours. Keep doing a good job and in the end, you win! Good luck V. It breaks my heart that people act this way to someone who is so nice and cares so deeply for others.
You could sneak up behind them and swing your cane like a baseball bat ;)
Unfortunately, there is no cure for stupidity, for selfishness or rudeness. The only thing you can do is to continue work circles around them, despite your condition.
At least your boss stuck up for you, but at the same time, maybe your boss needs the cane treatment for telling you.
LOL Thanks for that image of the baseball bat! Made me smile big time!
My boss is a good person. She was explaining to me why I had to clock out for something, and I knew something else was up. I asked her about it directly, and she hesitated to tell me, but I am glad she did. I knew these two were up to something!
I will go to work today and continue to work circles around these two. That is who I am. I can't change.
Thanks so much for the support, because I really needed it. Hmmmmm Baseball bat. LOL I will be smiling every time I have to use my cane now. Thank you for that, too! 
V
I got treated like crap while working at Walmart. The favoritism ran thick and I wasn't the best team player. Nor were my approved accommedations ever fulfilled. That's why I packed up and walked out on them. I am on disability now and it is a lot of weigh off my shoulders to not have to compete. Money is tight but for my sanity it was worth it.
Now I am viewing life within my fishbowl and I started to realize the only benefit to having this illness. I get to breathe. Don't be haters you little worker bees. he he. I do what I want. I have the freedom to think outside the rat race that consumes most normal people.
Hi, Jen,
I kept to myself today and it was wonderful. I got a lot of work done, and I am just done trying to "fit in" with these two. I will not let them make their problem, my problem! Happy to hear you do not have to deal with that anymore. It sure isn't easy working with RA, but for right now, I need to work. I have just decided that petty people are not going to be part of my life.
Blessings,
V
Glad to hear you are feeling better about those idgits, V. Just remember the cane has an alternate method of use 
wow, your workplace really has more than its share of idiots, doesn't it?
there are couple of issues with this. The first is how did you find out? Was it workplace gossip, did your boss tell you, etc. The question I'm getting at here is how accurate is your information. Assuming that your information reflects what happened, your work environment can be described as toxic and discriminatory.
I am starting to lean towards recommending that you ask for a meeting with your boss and potentially the HR person who's been helpful to discuss these issues. Your employer is obligated under the ADA to not discriminate against employees based on disability. They're not discriminating against you directly because you do have FMLA and support from your supervisor and HR, but there is clearly a problem within the workplace with people who do not understand disability and who are reacting in a completely unacceptable manner.
You have, I assume, heard about this incident second hand? Has she made such statements to you directly? If so, I recommend a harassment/discrimination complaint. If she hasn't spewed such nonsense at you directly, I suggest that you start out with an informal conversation with your boss (and possibly the HR person) indicating your concern and requesting that they find a way to educate their employees about disability in general.
Lene,
This person told me I just needed to "get on with it", that "everyone has aches and pains". Mind you, I wasn't talking to her about anyting. She overheard one of my friends asking how I was and after the friend left, she gave me a lecture. Ugh
And, the information about her complaining about me getting "special" treatment and how I was always hurting came from my boss. My boss got ticked off and told her there was something wrong with me because she had seen the doctor's reports. This woman I work with is over 50, and still a bully. Geez Louise!
I am always so dumbfounded by her remarks that I don't know what to say. The info about her saying I don't need a cane is second hand from a friend who stood up for me and told her to shut up in a nice way, she said.
Sometimes I hate that place, but I do like and need my job, Lene. The HR person isn't so "helpful" anymore. My doctor wrote a letter to them listing my restricitons because the manager who is always on me complained that I was away from my desk too much. I have to get up and move once in a while because I stiffen up. And.....I drink constantly because my mouth is so dry and so I have more restroom trips than most. Sounds like high school doesn't it? Well, they pretty much ticked off my doc and she told them I needed to move every 40 mi for 5 to ten minutes and that I could not lift more than 10 lbs etc. I told my boss that this manager who is complaining all the time is harrassing me, and I'm sure that got back to them. Now he just glares at me. At least he is leaving me alone for the time being. They can't say anthing about my work quality or quantity, Lene. I do a lot of work, and I help my boss with her work some times. Why do people have to be so petty?
V
Correction.....doc told him them I need to move every 30 minutes, not 40. She pretty much spelled everything out, and I think it made them angry. I also think my boss is afriad of this bully, too.
I don't know, sweetie. It's exhausting and demoralizing on top of everything else you have to deal with. There is a point when I start wondering where the line between ignorance and meanness is. These people know that you have a legitimate health problem, but yet seem bound and determined to not believe it. It says more about them than you, but unfortunately you have to work with them. I'm glad that you have the support of your boss and friends in the workplace who stand with you. Still, it shouldn't be necessary.
Hi, Lene,
My boss called me up to her desk this morning and wanted to know what this woman had said to me directly, so I told her, and she wrote it down. I told her I am hoping she backs off, because I really don't want any trouble. I just want to be left alone to do my job. But I did tell her I would let her know if she says anything else.
My doc told me yesterday that I am doing "good" to still be working, and that she knows it is hard for me. She recommends getting that travel scooter so that I can get out and do things I enjoy. She ordered an MRI of my back and hip, and said that I might need a shot in my back. And she ordered orthovisc shots for my knees.
I am a strong person, Lene, but when I am having a really hard day, these two people get to me. When I could use a word of encouragement or kindness, they say or do something mean-spirited. They must be so unhappy. Thanks for listening.
V
you have a good perspective on it - when people are that mean, it's often more about what's going on inside of them than anything to do with you. Still, I'm happy to hear that your boss is taking it seriously and documenting it. You should be, too, just for your own records. It's a sad statement on the state of your workplace that it's necessary for you to do that, but protect yourself...
Ugh...Ignorance is such an ugly thing!
I have complete empathy for where you are at here. I am in a little different position in that I am the boss, meaning I have a group of folks who works for me. During the last few weeks of getting this massive flare under control and getting diagnosed, I actually missed 19 days of work - just went back this week! I've been struggling to catch up with my employees, then on Wednesday, one of them actually had the audacity to compare her recent bout with the flu to the severity of my RA. I wanted to sock her in the face. I felt the same way when I read your post about these two yahoos at your work. Then I remembered something...
I was, once, one of those yahoos.
This probably wont be a popular answer, but being so new to RA, I think I have a slightly different perspective. It hit me as this idiot was telling me that she understood how bad my body hurt because she just had a case of the flu and she was sort of achy too, that she had zero clue how bad it was. Had she been a co-worker, I probably would have said "Are you freaking KIDDING me?" But because she works for me, I couldn't do that, and it forced me to stop and think. I remembered those times when my mom, also an RA fighter, would complain of aches and I would think "suck it UP already!!!!" This was my own mom, who I love dearly, but I just didn't get how bad it was. It took inheriting this darn disease to completely open my eyes.
So my approach with this gal at work was to ask what she knows about RA. As she described her flu (haha), it hit me that she really had no idea. I put myself out there and explained it the same way my 8 year old does to others - the auto immune cells in my body are confused - and shared how using the walker has been tough, etc. It seemed to sink in. Then I let her know that I DO know what the flu feels like - it sucks - but boy, I would take that over RA in a heartbeat! That one really hit home.
You have a couple of things going with these jokers at work. One - you are outperforming them with your body not at 100%. ROCK ON!!!! However this is going to automatically create animosity, even in the best of conditions. Two - you have a protected work environment that really isn't offering much protection in this regard. If it was me, I'd probably invite the know-it-all to lunch, find some little work related topic to ask her about (to stroke her ego) and then find a way to work in how thankful you are that your company is helping to deal with your disease. Then I'd ask what she knows about RA, and work in your story. It is amazing how, when people feel even a little important, they can become your advocate very quickly. As much as you may not want to, investing a 30 minute lunch in this gal may not just help with her, but bleed over onto others.
Or you can whack her with your cane. I love that one too
Take care and remember you are awesome, and bright, and wayyyyyy better than this dumb disease and the goofballs you'll encounter in life!!!
Hi, Stacy!
Thanks for sharing your story. It did help. Alas, I have been stroking this girls ego for years asking her opinion or asking questions I thought she might know the answer to. It didn't do one bit of good. She may have even gotten worse. This particular woman does not want to learn about RA because she thinks she know it all already. The other girls are just ignorant of RA, and that is understandable. This other woman has been bullying people her entire life. I hear her bully customers on the phone. How she keeps her job is a bit beyond me. I have decided to ignore her. I don't have the energy to waste on such nonsense. I have a LOT of work to do. ; )
It sounds like a case for the cane for SURE 
Have you ever heard that country song "I'll Pray for You"? If not, take a listen...you could tell her that too.
I am a person of faith, and I do pray for this person, especially when she goes on her motorcycle trips and doesn't wear a helmet. I think she must just be a really unhappy person. I saw my ortho today and told his NP that this person told my boss there wasn't anything wrong with me. The NP said, "Well, she is wrong. She better hope she never gets what you have." Then she told me I was doing good to still be working and she suggested I get a mobility scooter so that I can go to the places I want to go. I can't walk for more than 15 minutes, and that isn't long enough to make it thru the zoo. She also ordered an MRI of my lower back and hip. Said I might need a shot in my back. And, ordered orthovisc for my left knee. Hearing her say all that was validation, but it made me a bit sad. I think I was in a bit of denial as to the stage of my RA. BUT, no worries. I am a fighter and I enjoy life. I will just adjust, adjust, adjust!
You hear people say "walk a mile in my shoes...." and have to wonder - what if MY shoes don't allow me to walk at all????
V - you are in my prayers, friend, as is that angry little woman.
Sorry you are dealing with this V. The more I find out about people, the more I like my dog!
Its tough when something like RA is present in the workplace, since we dont really LOOK sick.......people, or what passes as people, tend to see anything done to make life and work easier on you as preferential treatment. I no longer work, but I do remember my district manager turning into a real a*s the moment he found out I would be taking medical leave on and off. There is no accounting for idiots! Looks like you have a lot of good suggestions on here, I have really nothing to add that has not been said, but I wanted you to know I support you 100%!
It is terrible that people in the workplace are allowed to treat their fellow co-workers with such disrespect. I understand your situation. I no longer work the company in which I was using my FMLA for a chronic serious health condition. It is enough to battle the disease, go to work, do a good job at work then have more stress dumped onto a person by inconsiderate individuals. You are protected by the ADA and could file a complaint against the indiviudals. Follow through with your HR department hopefully you have excellent reprensentatives who can assist and do not drop the ball for you. Unfortunately we must battle for just about everything. I have been treated extremely poorly by others whom really don't understand the disease and really don't care too. I find much comfort in the lord with prayer and medititation. I pray that you find resolve to your situation soon because you do not need the add stress in your life. Blessings
It is terrible that people in the workplace are allowed to treat their fellow co-workers with such disrespect. I understand your situation. I no longer work the company in which I was using my FMLA for a chronic serious health condition. It is enough to battle the disease, go to work, do a good job at work then have more stress dumped onto a person by inconsiderate individuals. You are protected by the ADA and could file a complaint against the indiviudals. Follow through with your HR department hopefully you have excellent reprensentatives who can assist and do not drop the ball for you. Unfortunately we must battle for just about everything. I have been treated extremely poorly by others whom really don't understand the disease and really don't care too. I find much comfort in the lord with prayer and medititation. I pray that you find resolve to your situation soon because you do not need the add stress in your life. Blessings
V,
Sorry to hear that. Believe me, you're not alone.
I cannot elaborate yet on my own situation, but you need to do what you believe in. This is the only way you can be healthy.
I started by educating myself about workplace bullying and mobbing. Gosh, I wish I could use my energy for something else, but it is what it is.
Be strong and healthy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5lvyopCAr4
V, when I read about the trouble you are having at work, I so feel for you! I am so lucky to have the accommodations in my job that I have. Yes, somehow they still don't understand that that simply don't have the stamina that I used to have but they are trying. I am showing up late or sometimes working from home and the late mornings have been taken in stride and the rest of my group said, if this is what you need, we can work with this. How much better to be recognized as a valuble member of a team who is willing to work with your needs than in what you are describing - it seems so petty and adverserial! No, they don't quite get it it, but they are really trying and we are working to get to a place where I can continue to be a productive member of the team without killing myself. I hope your employer can get there too!
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Thank you for the kind words, Cathy. They came at a good time.
I am in a better frame of mind this morning. I will go to work and do my job and laugh with my friends there. Unfortunately, I sit right by these two unhappy people, but I will concentrate on my work and ignore them.
I never talk to these two about my RA. I just don't get it. I guess they resent the fact that I am gone sometimes because I am sick??? Apparently, they don't like me using my cane. Hmmmmmm. They must have unhappy lives. I am a person of faith, so I wil l pray for them. That is all I know to do.
Thanks again, Cathy. You lifted me up when I needed it, and I am much better today.
Peace,
V